


Possessively Scary

by ChamirianBels



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Denial, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Saving, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Multi, OOC Spain in future chapters, Psychological Drama, Rape/Non-con Elements, Vulgar Language, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-19 22:24:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 40,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChamirianBels/pseuds/ChamirianBels
Summary: Romano Lovino Vargas starts college late with his brother after their nonno passes away. As they visit the financial aid office at the beginning of the semester, Romano meets a very strange and overly friendly Spaniard. He tries his hardest to stay away from Antonio but finds himself going back to the guy. Antonio is odd and confusing but still attractive and makes people want to be near him. There's something off about him, though. As Romano gets closer to Antonio, he finds himself in a very difficult relationship where he doesn't know if he should be scared of the Spaniard or not. Will he be able to get himself out of something he let himself get into or stay stuck in something he's not entirely sure is healthy?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, only the story idea and plot.

            Birds chirp as the day starts out. Romano Lovino Vargas, who prefers to be called by his middle name, walks to the college campus with a slouch. His brother, Feliciano Vargas, is several meters in front of him, excitedly skipping as he exclaims small ‘ve’s with every three steps. The older sibling by two years sighs as his amber eyes watch the younger one make a fool of himself. They’re both entering this prestigious college known for it’s diverse students that come from all over the world. The College of Saint Himaruya. Such an interesting name yet Romano knows nothing of this Saint Himaruya the college is named after.

            The Italians take their first steps on campus as they search for the building with Financial Aid. They know they're not the first Italians on campus, but very few Italians do come to this campus. It’s a privilege to be granted admission to Saint Himaruya. Romano could care less.

            He was only at this college because his grandfather left them a will stating that he wishes for his grandsons to come here. If it was Romano’s choice, he wouldn’t be going to college at all. He would be working so he could save money for the restaurant he wants to own in the future. Since his nonno saved money for them both to go to this college, Feli caused his brother to feel guilty until he agreed to go to college. They both would be starting as freshmen late in life since they're 20 and 22 now. Feli graduated high school when he was 17 and Romano was already out and working at 19.

            The youngest wanted to go to college straight after high school but was unable to do so when their grandfather fell ill. Romano kept working as Feli took care of Romulus Vargas. This went on for two and a half years until the big man passed. This event took a toll on Feliciano, as he was the closest one to their nonno, but Romano also felt the loss. Their grandfather was his savior, so he would respect the man even after death and do as he wishes. Albeit stubbornly.

            Romano catches up to his brother who stands in front of the building they need to go into. Feli smiles bright and loops his arms around one of Romano’s, dragging him in and up the stairs. The eldest brother struggles a little but let’s his brother do this. A small smirk appears on his face for a moment before he frowns again as they enter the Financial Aid office.

            “Thanks so much, Mr. Engle!” The two pass a taller, tanned man who smiles wide at another man before shaking his hand. “I can always trust you to help me with my scholarships.”

            “It’s no problem, Antonio.” Mr. Engle smiles back as he shakes the other’s hand. “Be sure to come back if you have any other questions or concerns.”

            “Will do!”

            Romano watches the two speak as his brother goes over to make an appointment for themselves. His amber eyes gaze at the tanned man, checking him out as subtlety he can. He jumps when Antonio turns and locks eyes with him. A shiver goes down his spine as he sees a certain sparkle in the man’s green eyes. For some reason, this stranger seems interesting yet also something else.

            “Hola!” Antonio waves as he takes a few steps over to the other. “Are you a freshman?”

            Romano feels like he shouldn’t answer. Not just because he doesn’t want to. He merely nods with a wary gaze. “What of it?”

            “Oh, nothing.” The Spaniard chuckles. “I’m a sophomore. I was just going to say that if you need help or anything and you see me on campus, don’t be afraid to ask for my help.”

            The man’s cheery demeanor causes Romano to mentally cringe as he leans away. He reads another kind of context behind Antonio’s smile, but he ignores it as he shrugs a reply. “Whatever.”

            “Lovino!” Feliciano comes over and clings to his brother’s arm. “We should go sit down and wait.”

            The elder brother opens his mouth to reply as he slowly looks over. In the corner of his eye, he sees Antonio’s face twitch for just a second. When he glances back with his mouth shut, the man is smiling.

            “Yeah.” He turns his back on the Spaniard as he walks with his brother towards some open seats. “Let's just get this stupid meeting over with.”

            Romano ignores the prickly feeling of eyes on his back as he retreats from the other man. Feliciano doesn’t realize what went on between his brother and Antonio, but he knows that his brother felt uncomfortable. Romano mentally thanks Feli for pulling him away. Antonio’s eyes still stare at them before the man finally leaves, and they are able to meet with their Financial Aid representative.

~

_“Tell us again why you wanted to go to the college!” Feli crosses his legs in front of their grandfather as he scooches closer to the giant man. “I know you went for art, but there was something else, right?”_

_“Of course!” Romulus laughs jovially. He gazes over at his other grandson in a far corner, clicking away on the desktop they own. “Romano, come over here and listen.”_

_“Buzz off, old man. I’m working.” The young man doesn’t even turn towards his guardian. His focus is solely on the article he’s reading for work. “I don’t have time for your stories.” He would remind his grandfather that he prefers to be called by his middle name, but he doesn’t. His nonno can call him whatever. He’s the only one with that privilege._

_“Please, Lovino.”_

_Romano ceases his movements as Romulus calls him by his middle name. He sighs, turns in the computer chair, then gets up to join the other two on the couch. The elder man smiles as he ruffles his nipote’s hair up, avoiding the strand of hair that curls to the right. Romano huffs and crosses his arms._

_“Get on with it so I can get back to work.”_

_Romulus laughs with a nod. “Alrighty then.” He looks at Feli, the one who is interested, and soon starts telling the brothers his stories at the College of Saint Himaruya._

~

            Romano stares up at the ceiling of his dorm room, blinking away the sleep in his eyes. He yawns and sits up, ruffling up his hair as he scratches his head. Hearing some movement to his left, he sees his brother in his own bed waking up slowly. A grin appears on his face as he sees Feli’s eyes open before closing up again.

            “Oi,” Romano throws his pillow at his brother, “no falling back asleep. We need to pick up our books today and get other shit ready.”

            Feli moans tiredly. “But Lovino,” he whines. “I wanna sleep.”

            “So do I, but I’m not gonna be a bitch about this.” He stands up and goes to their shared dresser. “Think, you idiot. The quicker we get this stuff done, the quicker we get back to sleep.”

            At that fact, Feliciano gets out of bed and dresses himself. He sighs, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “All we have to do is pick up our books?”

            “Yeah.” The elder brother ruffles up his little brother’s hair. “The rest I can do myself so you can rest.”

            “Okay.” Feli leans on Romano.

            The latter rolls his eyes and lightly pushes his brother off. “Come on, lazy bones. You might get to meet new friends.”

            Feliciano smiles at that and instantly gets dressed. Romano shakes his head, finishing up on getting dressed himself before heading towards the door. They soon exit together and Feli shows a sudden burst of energy once they’re outside. This amuses the elder Italian brother as they walk to the bookstore which is in a building on the other side of the campus from their dorm. The walk is refreshing as the afternoon air brushes by them. Feli rushes ahead and twirls around across the quad, Romano watching him with a small smile on his face. That guy can still act like a kid at times.

            When they reach the other building, they enter and head towards the bookstore. It doesn’t take long for them to get into the line already there, but Romano’s the one holding their spots as Feli browses. He sighs as he keeps his eyes on his energetic brother. Holding both their schedules, he knows that these books will be quite expensive for both of them combined. Thank God for the Financial Aid that pays for most of their books. Also, their nonno saved up plenty enough money for both of their tuitions and their books. How the hell he got all that money, Romano will never know.

            At least, Romano tries to forget that he even knows.

            He moves up in the line and reaches one of the two workers. He gives them the two schedules and the slips saying that Financial Aid is paying for it all. The person takes the papers and goes around to collect the books. This is when Romano searches for his brother only to see him talking to a tall man with blond hair slicked back. His protective nature over his brother flares up but he forces himself to calm down. He remembers saying that Feli could possibly make new friends, but he didn’t think he’d try this fast. This may be good, but Romano still doesn’t like it. He can’t move to do anything either or he’ll lose his spot and have to wait again to just get his books, so he just watches them.

            The blond man seems to be flushed as he speaks with Feli. The younger Italian animatedly talks with the other, an obvious smile and blush on his face. Romano doesn’t like seeing this and makes fists in his pockets. After losing their nonno, Feliciano is the only person he has. He doesn’t want to lose him even if it means stopping him from being with someone. He knows that’s selfish, but who else will be with him until the day he dies?

            “Hello again!”

            Romano jumps, doe eyed as he glances at the person who suddenly appeared next to him. He soon relaxes but scowls as he recognizes Antonio from the other day. He turns away, ignoring the man as he waits for the books him and his brother need.

            Antonio seems to not be deterred by the other’s actions. “So, I realized yesterday after leaving that I never really introduced myself.” He steps into Lovino’s line of vision and offers a hand to shake. “My name’s Antonio.”

            The Italian ignores the offered hand and takes the two bags full of books. He turns and walks out of the line towards his brother. Antonio drops his hand and follows the other. He doesn’t speak a word but Romano knows he won’t give up. With a sigh, he stops and turns half-way around.

            “My name’s Lovino. Now, would you please fuck off?”

            The same sparkle shimmers in Antonio’s eyes as he smiles brighter. “Nice to make your acquaintance, Lovi.”

            Romano’s eyebrow twitches. “Look, we’re not friends and we’re not going to be friends. I don’t even know who the fuck you are. Personally. So you have no right to give me a damn nickname.” He scowls up at the other. “Seriously, go screw around with someone else who’s willing to put up with you.”

            He leaves the other once more, glad that he doesn’t follow him unlike last time. His amber eyes search for his brother soon spotting him near the cashier with the blond man. Romano walks over with a glare and lightly pushes his brother.

            “Oi, I’ve got our books. Lets go.”

            “Aw, but Lovino,” Feli starts with his quivering lower lip, “I don’t want to go back yet.”

            The elder brother glares up at the taller man behind Feliciano, who refuses to make eye contact with him as he tries to pay for his own things. Romano then gazes at his brother. They have a mute conversation between their eyes and he soon sighs.

            “Fine. Whatever. Do what you want.” He turns towards the exit, opting to ignore his brother’s smiling face. “Be back at our room before dark, at least.”

            “Okay!”

            Romano leaves knowing his brother is happily making friends already. He sighs again, walking outside of the building. He stands still for a moment on the sidewalk and glances up at the sky. With a small grin on his face, he hums a tune he used to hear his nonno hum. Glancing back down, he continues walking towards his dorm. A warm wind breezes by as he goes across the quad, and a starling flies by, hovering in the air for a moment as it looks at Romano then continues on its way. The Italian laughs quietly as he watches the bird, knowing just who it was.


	2. Chapter 2

_Romulus waves his eldest nipote over to him as he crouches down behind a bush. Romano sluggishly walks over, his amber eyes gazing at his five-year-old brother playing with their cousin from Seborga before focusing on his grandfather. Romulus motions for him to kneel beside him and the boy does._

_“Look there, Romano,” he whispers as he points behind the bush up towards a tree branch. “Tell me what you see.”_

_The young boy glances up from his position and notices a bird dancing around on a branch. His face lights up but he makes sure to be silent. He soon looks at his nonno and whispers a reply._

_“Isn’t that a starling?”_

_The big man chuckles quietly as he nods. “You're right, my boy. A beautiful starling.”_

_“It’s just a bird though.” Romano observes the small animal as it still hops from branch to branch. “Why is this so amusing to spy on it?”_

_“Bird watching is a sport, Roma.” Romulus smiles as he ruffles the young boy’s hair. “You see the many birds of one family and more when you bird watch. It’s fun, isn’t it?” He sees his nipote nod. He chuckles knowing that Romano’s focus is on the bird. “When we have days where it's just us, I can take you bird watching.”_

_Romano’s little body lifts in glee as he quickly looks over at his grandfather. “Really?!”_

_His happy shriek causes the bird to fly off. He frowns as his nonno laughs jovially. Romulus pats the young boy’s shoulder before standing up. He smiles down as the young one follows his movement._

_“Yes. I promise to take you bird watching.” He ruffles Romano’s hair, smiling wider when the boy chuckles. “Just be sure that you're quiet. Birds scare easily, you know.”_

_“I know,” the boy replies as he fixes his hair. He pouts a little just to make his grandfather laugh – who does laugh to please his grandson. Romano then smiles and hugs the man’s leg. “I love you, Grandpa Rome.”_

_Romulus smiles wider to the point where his face could split in two. “Ti amo mio nipote.”_

~

            The first day of classes was easy to get through for the Vargas’. They have a few general classes together with some of their major classes for the semester. Feliciano is going for art, following their nonno’s footsteps, and Romano is going for culinary arts. Romulus painted for a living, but his dream was to own a restaurant. Feliciano loves painting, so he took that path. Romano adores cooking so he’s chasing the same dream his nonno had.

             Both men share two classes with each other before they separate into their own specific classes. Feliciano goes to the Art Hall and Romano walks to the Culinary Hall. The elder Italian brother doesn’t think of possibly gaining new friends like his brother, but he also does not expect to see a familiar face in his class.

            Antonio’s smile is dull as he sits near a counter with a sink and dishwasher. Romano tenses as he prays that the Spaniard won’t notice him, but of course, it’s all futile. Green eyes land on him almost instantly as he tries to go to a counter far away from the man. The smile on Antonio’s face brightens and he waves Romano over.

            “Lovino, over here!” The man excitedly calls him over. “Sit with me!”

            Romano can’t help but feel that it seems like an order, but he ignores it. With a sigh, he goes over and sits next to the guy. Better to sit next to a person he knows little about than to sit next to someone he knows nothing of. He thinks this, yet he still makes it clear to the Spaniard that he wants nothing to do with him.

            Antonio either doesn’t get the message or ignores it entirely.

            “To think we’d be in a class together, huh?” Toni’s green eyes stare at the other in hopes of a response.

            The Italian stays silent. He rolls his eyes when he realizes the man won’t leave him be until he gets an answer, so he shrugs. “Just how it went,” he says the short answer in a dull tone.

            “Well, since you sat next to me, we’ll be working together in some projects.” Antonio smiles wide. “We should get to know each other better.”

            Romano has all he can do not to groan and hit his head against the counter before him. He just had to sit next to him. He still had time to stand up and go somewhere else, but that’s tiring. He’ll just have to deal with it for this semester.

            “Whatever,” he replies quietly, eyes always forward. He dares not look at the annoying, smiling person next to him. “Don’t expect us to just be friends instantly.”

            Antonio’s smile dims a little as he processes the other’s reply. “Well, one can hope we do become friends.”

            Before the Italian can reply, the professor steps through the threshold of the room along with some stragglers. Romano’s amber eyes focus on the culinary professor – a tall, thin man with blond hair that goes to his shoulders and some stubble on his chin – and ignores the Spaniard.

            The professor places down his satchel in the stool up front and smiles at the small class. “Bonjour, everyone. I am your professor for this semester, Francis Bonefoy. You may call me Francis, Mr. Bonefoy, or Professor. I prefer to be on equal terms with my students, so you may all call me by my first name as much as you please.” His blue eyes scan the classroom, taking in the two dozen students in the room. “Since today is the first day, we will merely introduce ourselves and look over the syllabus before I dismiss you all for the day.” The students mutter in relief as he pulls out a stack of packets from his satchel. “Take one and pass it back, please.” He says as he splits the stack among each column of people.

            This happens for at least three to five minutes until everyone has a packet. Romano glances over the syllabus quick, seeing that 70% of the class will be learning recipes and cooking while the last 30% is split between attendance, participation, and quizzes/tests. He smirks, knowing full well that he’ll pass this class no problem.

            Francis soon begins asking the students their names. They each state their name, major, year, why they’re taking the class, and an interesting fact about themselves. A lot of laughs are made here and there, but Romano only cracks a small crooked smile. He’s dreading his turn.

            It soon gets to his table and Antonio goes first. He smiles bright and tries to stand up only to make his stool tip behind him and fall over. Everyone laughs, and he joins them, but Romano rolls his eyes.

            “Sorry about that.” The Spaniard grabs his chair from the ground and sits back down instead of standing like he intended. “My name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. I’m a sophomore majoring in agriculture. I’m taking this class because it fills a credit for my course but also because I love cooking, so I know it’ll be fun. And a fun fact…” he trails off with a hum. “I have a mini tomato farm in my dorm room.”

            Hearing his favorite fruit being mentioned, Romano’s gaze examines the man beside him. If that was true, he would love to try some of his tomatoes…only because he has a natural obsession with those deliciously plump red fruits.

            When Antonio’s emerald eyes glance at him, Romano jumps a little before he realizes it’s his turn. He’s the last one but he’s not going to be anything memorable. “My name’s Romano Lovino Vargas, but I prefer to be called Lovino. No shortening my name, it irritates me.” He takes a moment to think of everything else. “I’m a freshman majoring in culinary arts. I’m taking this class because it’s required but also because I enjoy cooking. It’s relaxing for me in a way. And my interesting fact…” he trails of as he thinks that he’s not all that interesting. Mentally shrugging away plenty of facts he could say, he goes with the safe fact nearly everyone knows. “I have a brother who’s two years younger than me but could pass as my identical twin.”

            Francis nods, a sparkle in his eyes as Lovino is one of the few in his class with culinary arts as a major. “Very good!” He claps his hands together and everyone looks at him. “Now, if you all would look at your syllabus and follow along with me, I will explain everything on these pages and then dismiss you all for the day.”

            Everyone does as he instructs, including Romano. He notices as the time goes on that Antonio seems to peek over at him, but he ignores the man. He only has one more cooking class after this and he’ll be free for the rest of the day. His thoughts soon run away as he thinks about how his brother is doing in his class. He hopes he’s doing well and a lot more fortunate than he is with classmates.

            After Francis goes through the syllabus and states that the books are very important to have for the semester, he dismisses the class and everyone leaves. Romano packs up his syllabus in his sack and begins to head out towards his last class, but Antonio lightly pulls on his arm to stop him. The Italian glares at the man but Antonio merely smiles at him.

            “Are you free right now? Wanna get some lunch?”

            The brunet sighs, shaking his head. “I have one more class to get to. So, I’ll be going.” He starts walking but Antonio follows him as he slings his own bag over his shoulder.

            “Then how about after that?” It doesn’t seem this guy is going to give up.

            Romano’s sigh turns into an annoyed growl as he keeps walking, not even looking back at the other. “I’m kind of busy, so if you’d so kindly fuck off, I might think about maybe, _maybe_ eating lunch or whatever with you once. But only if you swear to leave me alone and stop buggering me like this. It’s annoying.”

            The Spaniard goes silent for a moment. Romano feels a prickly feeling crawl up his back which causes him to stop walking and shiver. He turns back in time to see a cold stare in those green eyes before they snap into the happy-go-lucky persona the other guy gives off.

            “How about I ease off a little, but we still have lunch at least once or twice a week?” He offers.

            Lovino studies the Spaniard’s face for a moment, considering the compromise. He lists the pros and cons in his head, them being nearly even but the pros winning out in the end. He rolls his eyes and turns back around.

            “Fine,” he states. “But you’ve gotta back off like you said. All this hovering around me shit is creepy and makes me think you’re on the borderline of stalking me.”

            Antonio laughs. “I wouldn’t stalk you. I just want to be your friend.”

            Yet when Romano glances back to see the smile on the other’s face, he reads another layer under that face and sentence.

            “Whatever.” He pulls up his bag and looks away. “I seriously need to get going. So, I guess I’ll see you around, tomato bastard.”

            Antonio cocks his head to the side. “Tomato bastard?”

            Romano quickly rushes away without replying, his face feeling a little warm. He couldn’t believe that slipped out. He only wanted to say it in his head – he instantly dubbed Antonio the ‘tomato bastard’ because of him having a tomato farm and being a bastard already – but his filter didn’t work again. He sighs, hoping that the idiot doesn’t think it’s an endearment. It’s far from an endearment, or so Lovino will say to himself.

            The Italian enters his last class of the day, mind full of fog as his thoughts clutter around. He really just wants the day to end so he can eat and sleep on his bed, but he has to get the rest of his books after his last class. Why did he have to go to college? Feliciano could have gone without him.

            When a starling flies by the window Romano sits next to, he smiles. Seeing his nonno like that always seemed to help him on certain days. He guesses he’ll be seeing a lot of starlings around as the semester goes on, but he doesn’t mind that at all.

            He’d do anything for his grandfather to smile down on him and be proud to call him his nipote.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers have a small chat as they talk about the now and hint about the past.

            “Can you believe it’s been a week already?” Feliciano asks his brother as he rests on his bed. He’s on his stomach with his legs waving a little in the air, head resting in his hands as he looks towards his elder brother’s desk. “Ve.” He sighs before rolling onto his back. “I’ve made two new friends in that time. How about you, Lovino?”

            The brunet at his desk scribbles notes on a piece of paper, listening to his younger brother before slouching back against his chair. “I don’t consider him a friend, but this guy hangs around me a lot. The tomato bastard just doesn’t get the hint I don’t want him around. At all.”

            Feli chuckles. “That’s a lie,” he coos as he rolls around on his bed until he’s sitting on the edge. “You gave him a nickname only you would give him. There’s some interest there.”

            “There is not!” Romano flushes, hunching forward as he hides his face from his brother. “He’s a bastard that doesn’t give up when someone obviously tells him to fuck off. A bastard who owns a mini tomato farm in his dorm room.”

            “Ah, there it is. It’s because he brought up tomatoes.” The copper head laughs as Romano glares at him, dodging a pencil that is thrown at him easily. “Is it that guy we saw at financial aid the first day we were here?”

            Gazing at his brother with suspicion, Romano leans on his chair with his arms between his legs. “How’d you know?”

            “Well,” Feli starts, “he’s the only other memorable person here that went up to you instead of me.”

            Romano snorts but realizes that’s true. A lot of people gravitate towards the younger Italian because of his personality and the air around him. Some people stick around with Romano as well, but tend to prefer Feliciano. It didn’t always used to be like that. There was a time Romano was almost exactly like how his brother is now. This just changed as he grew up. He discovered a hard truth about reality and has been protecting his brother from experiencing it like he did ever since.

            The brunet stares at his hands as he thinks about his past, certain clips flashing before his eyes to replace what he sees now to what he saw then. He shakes his head and turns back to his desk.

            “Shouldn’t you be working on your homework?” He tries to forget what his memories recall by thinking of college again.

            “I should, but I don’t want to,” Feli answers, standing up from his bed and walking to his own desk. “Will you help me in the classes that we share?”

            “Of course not.” Romano scowls. “I’m not always going to be around for you, Veneziano. You need to learn to do things and learn things on your own without relying on others all the time.”

            The other sighs as he flops into his chair, chin resting on the desk instantly. “I guess.” He reluctantly agrees before sitting up and grabbing his bag. He pulls out his work and lays it out on his desk so he can work on it. “Hey, are you going to see Antonio again soon?”

            Romano rolls his eyes, knowing for sure his brother will stall on working for however long he can. “Why?”

            “You complained about making a compromise with him.”

            Remembering that, Romano groans. “Shit. I’m supposed to have lunch with him tomorrow.” He sighs, slouching in his seat. “I really don’t want to bother with him. He’s just a pain in the ass.”

            “Yet he’s going to be your future partner on projects in that class, right?”

            “God dammit, stop reminding me, fratello.”

            Feliciano chuckles. “Sorry, Lovino.” He falls silent for a moment before speaking up again. “You should at least become friends. You need a friend more than anything, Romano.”

            Hearing his brother call him by his first name makes him flinch reflexively. Feliciano doesn’t call him that unless he’s serious about something he thinks is important. He respects his brother’s wish of using his middle name to be called by – for reasons only the brothers know – but there are exceptions.

            “Fine.” Romano relents on the issue. “There are no promises.”

            “But Lovino, you’ve technically already made promises.” Feliciano grins as he turns to his brother.

            The elder Italian is silent as he turns around to give his brother the stink eye. “When did you become such a fucking conniving bastard?”

            “Why, whatever do you mean, fratello?” Feli bats his eyelashes innocently.

            Romano sighs and shakes his head. “Act innocent all you want, Veneziano. I’m the only one who knows how you truly act when you’re not an idiot.”

            A chuckle comes from his brother as he turns back to his desk. “You always will know the real me, Lovino. Just like how I used to know the real you.”

            The brunet flinches at the remark, frowning as he turns back to his own desk. “You know why I’m like this. So, I changed. Who gives a damn? It’s not like anyone else knows what I used to be like before what happened.”

            “Our family knows,” Feli states. “Everything was fine until you went missing for a long while.” He falls silent as the memories crop up. “Grandpa Rome was so worried about you. He never got any rest because he wanted to find you. When he brought you back home, we were all so happy you were okay, but you shut us out.”

            “What makes you think I was okay, Feli?” Romano leans back against his seat, staring up at the ceiling. “I was far from okay. I was petrified with fear and traumatized from what happened…” he trails off as he sees more flashes before his eyes. He closes his hazel irises and shakes his head. “That changed me. And I’m probably never going to be like the kid I was before.”

            There’s a silence between them for a couple of minutes. Feliciano soon gets up and hugs his brother around his shoulders. Romano feels some wet drops land on his shirt and he sighs. He turns around and takes his brother in his arms. Feli sits in his lap, holding him close and snuggling. Usually Romano would flail and push him away, but they both need this comfort and affection at the moment.

            “I love you, fratello,” Feliciano whispers. “I always will, even if you never change again. ‘Cause, I know you still care. You just show it differently than before.”

            Romano smiles a little, rubbing his brother’s back. “I love you, too, Feli. Always will no matter how stubborn I am to say it.”

            They chuckle, staying in this position for a while before separating. Romano comments on doing their homework again and this time they both get to work. When they decide to fall asleep for the night, Feliciano snuggles up next to his brother for this night. They don’t do this often these days, only at certain moments or when they need another person’s comfort. Romano doesn’t mind because he loves feeling that he’s not alone. He hates sleeping by himself, but there’s not many people to share his bed with beside his brother.

            Romano wonders if there ever will be a person that wants to share his bed in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romano's luncheon with Antonio.

            Romano dreads the thought of seeing the Spaniard for lunch as he walks over to the cafeteria. He technically promised his brother that he would try to be friends with Antonio, but it won’t be easy for him. He thinks about all the failed friendships he’s had over the years since he became a person who pushes people away. He will most likely do the same with Antonio. This thought makes his heart drop as he feels he should just cancel this lunch date-not-date, but he continues on until he’s standing next to the entrance doors.

            The Italian turns around, exhales, then begins looking for the stupid man who was so insistent on having lunch with him. His hazel eyes see students he doesn’t know and probably will never know. There are some students huddled together or coupled off doing their own things during the lunch period everyone has. He even notices two imbeciles trying to prank someone, it seems, laughing hysterically and running away when it’s a success. The pranked person curses and yells after them but they keep on going, high fiving as the rush on by. This little scene Romano sees makes him grin a little, thankful he doesn’t have any friends to do such things. He frowns almost immediately when he thinks about having no friends at all.

            Sighing, Romano wonders just how long the Spaniard will keep him. As if on cue, Antonio enters his vision to the right from one of the specific course buildings. The tanned man waves animatedly at Romano with a smile. The olive skinned man rolls his eyes and turns to go inside the building, not waiting up for the other.

            “I hope you weren’t waiting long, Lovi!” Antonio comes up to his side once he catches up, panting slightly as he smile at his companion. “The professor wanted to speak with a group I’m in after class about something. I couldn’t really just ditch to come here. You know?”

            “Mm.” Romano doesn’t plan on replying much to Antonio. He may have promised his brother to be nice and make friends with the Spaniard but he didn’t promise about putting too much effort into it. He’s surprised that Antonio’s already doing group projects at the beginning of the semester though, so he grows a little curious. “What kind of class makes you split off into group projects at the beginning of the semester?”

            “Business classes,” Antonio answers all too eagerly, happy that Romano actually spoke up. “Unfortunately, I have to take a business class as one of those required credits.” He sticks his tongue out childishly in distaste. “I may be in agriculture but I should learn some business details for when I start up a farm in the country.”

            “You’re really going to start a farm?” Romano curses himself in his head for replying without thinking. He can’t just drop conversation now, though he very well knows that Toni could keep a one sided conversation going for hours. Or so he thinks he knows since he’s only known the guy a little under two weeks. “Here? In this country? Where everything is basically shit and farms aren’t as all that popular anymore?”

            “Well, yeah. I mean, it’s my dream to be a farmer.” Antonio chuckles bashfully, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. “I know it’s silly but I just love gardening and taking care of animals. I grew up on a farm back home in Spain, but mi familia moved to America for more possibilities.” He cringes a little. “America isn’t that bad but I miss Spain.”

            The brown haired student snorts with a small grin. “I’ve lived here all my life so I wouldn’t know.” He hums. “My nonno used to tell me stories of when he was back in Italy during his prime. That was all before he had my mother. She lived in Italy until she turned seven and came over here with him.”

            Antonio hums, cocking his head as he thinks. “What are they like?”

            Romano falls silent as they go up the stairs to the cafeteria. He doesn’t answer until he swipes his ID in for a meal ticket to be used during this visit and walks over to one of the tables for two. “My mother is a nice woman. Very caring but can be quite temperamental. My father balances her out at times but can be just as angry.” He would only know they’re disapproving frowns, their annoyed scowls, their angry shouts. All because he became insufferable for them. “I lived with them for a while after I turned nine but immediately went to live with my nonno. He took better care of me than they did after that.” He really didn’t want to go into it. “Mio nonno was a pain in the ass, though.” He grins as he remembers the times spent with his grandfather. “But he was the only one to take me in without complaint and still love me until he died.”

            He remembers everything during his childhood. His parents loved him and Feli equally, both adoring them as they grew up. Feli was a little more spoiled than Romano but little Romano didn’t care then. He had Grandpa Rome to spoil him with bird watching and early lessons of how to woo the ladies as a kid. Boy he was a rip snorting fire ball of fun. Romano still misses the man and always will.

            This also reminds him of how he lived separately from Feli for a good seven years before Feli decided to live with him and their grandfather. They kept in contact over the years, always visited when they could, and became so close it was hard to keep the separated when in the same room. They loved each other as brothers wholeheartedly, and they still do, but back then, Feli was Romano’s only solace so he didn’t lose himself in his deteriorating world. Feliciano was the one keeping him up from falling into that dark pit. They switched roles once their grandfather passed. Romano had to be the strong one then. He grew up with a hard slap of reality that turned him cold, but Feli knows that he’s warm underneath it all.

            Snapping out of his memories, he finds himself sitting at their chosen table with a plate of some alfredo pasta in front of him. There’s even some milk to go along with it. He doesn’t remember getting either and looks up at Antonio, who has a similar lunch in front of him.

            Antonio smiles when he sees that Romano’s gazing at him. “You spaced out and muttered something about pasta so I got everything for you. Is that okay?”

            The Italian hums, glancing at his meal again. “Sure. I don’t care.” He picks up his fork and starts eating. He finds the dish is slightly cold but still delicious. He won’t complain. Food is food. “Thanks,” he mutters after swallowing two forks of pasta down his throat.

            “No problem.” Antonio chuckles and starts eating himself, staying quiet for just a little bit before piping up again. “So, you lived with your grandfather majority of your life?”

            “Technically only half of my life growing up,” he answers without thinking again, mentally sighing as he might as well give up on being stubborn. Like hell he’d give up. “He died when I was turning twenty. Couldn’t really do much but work after that so the two of us worked once Feli graduated high school. Made damn sure he graduated.” A small smile appears on his face before it turns into a neutral frown. “We didn’t discover the jerk’s will until a couple months ago. That caused one hell of a shit storm when the family came together and his attorney read the will.”

            “Why so long after?” Antonio furrows his eyebrows in confusion, listening intently.

            “Seems the idiot wanted it to be read once Feli was 20 and I was 22.” He shrugs, unsure himself. “All we knew was that he left his possessions for Veneziano and I. Everyone flipped out.” He grins at the image of their parents raging over how it’s not right they don’t get anything. “Maybe he wanted us to be of age or close to it so that we wouldn’t lose everything to our parents.”

            The Spaniard hums. “Smart man.”

            “Trust me, he wasn’t all that smart.” Romano frowns at the other facts about his grandfather that he willingly pushes to the side. He doesn’t want anyone to know about that. He’s the only one who knows. Growing up with him for seven years before Feli came into the picture introduced him to another world he can never erase from his mind. That’s the only thing about his grandfather that he doesn’t like, something he still says was a stupid decision on the man’s part. “Everyone make stupid mistakes now and then. Even me.”

            “What could you possibly have done?” Antonio grins a little at the challenging question. The Spaniard has only seen a little of Romano and heard some important information to remember. The Italian doesn’t seem to be someone who will choose something without thinking. “You seem like someone who thinks of every possibility before choosing the safer route. Is that wrong to assume?”

            “Yes.” The olive skinned man snorts with a small grin. “Yes it is. And stop assuming because you know what it does.” He soon frowns though as he realizes that he’s spilling a lot of unnecessary things to someone he barely knows. “And I’m going to shut up about myself now because you don’t need to know everything that’s not your business.”

            Antonio nods in understanding. “That’s fine. What I’ve learned now is enough. I can wait to learn more about you as time goes on.” He smiles at the Italian, who sighs and clenches his eyes shut.

            Irritation builds a little bit in Romano. At himself mostly but a little towards Antonio as well. He shouldn’t be spilling his guts out towards an outside party. Some can say it’s therapeutic, but not this kind of stuff. It’s supposed to be kept close to his chest. Close knit, tight lipped. Seems he needs to sew his lips shut again. Figuratively speaking of course.

            “You know, I also have a brother,” Antonio says as he twirls his pasta on his fork. “He’s older than me by…five or so years? I think?”

            “How can you not know that?” Romano snorts in amusement. “You should know stuff like that.”

            “Well, we don’t see each other often.” He shrugs. “He lives in Portugal with his side of the family.” Antonio hums. “We’re technically half-brothers. He lives with his father and step-mother with the many half-siblings they’ve created over the years. I’m over here with mi madré y mi padre. Though, I have my own place now since I don’t need to live with them.”

            “But you’re in the dorms.”

            “I have an apartment waiting for me during the breaks,” Antonio states with a smile. “Once I’m a senior, I’ll move into it and opt to commute instead of dorm.”

            Romano hums, eating a few more forks full of his lunch. “My brother and I have a deed to the house we live in.” He can share at least this. It’s just about his home, not where it is. “Right now we have our aunt, uncle, and cousin renting it while we’re in college. They’re a portion of the family we can actually communicate with without any shouting.” He rolls his eyes at his parents. “They’re from Seborga but come to America every winter into spring. They go home during summer and fall.”

            “Those are weird times to come visit America.” Antonio chuckles.

            “You’re telling me.” He chuckles with the Spaniard, humming in thought. Maybe they should talk about college. Something other than why Romano is here for a culinary major, and where the money for tuition is coming from. “So, why Saint Himaruya?”

            The rest of the lunch is spent talking about the college itself, how great it is so far and the multiple clubs and extra activities that it has. Antonio does much of the conversation, which Romano doesn’t mind, and the two find themselves in a comfortable bubble. A bubble no one can possibly pop so easily. One Romano probably wouldn’t mind going to whenever he actually wants to be around the happy-go-lucky air-head.

            Antonio is slowly showing the Italian that he doesn’t just have air in his head. In fact, he’s far from being an air-head, but Romano won’t discover that quite yet. Why spoil the learning process while becoming friends? They both have the remaining time in college to learn about each other and become closer. Time which both of them willingly will give each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romano meets Arthur, a student professor interning for the semester as his British Literature professor. Joy.

            “So how was your lunch date?” Feliciano grins at his brother as they take a seat in their English Literature class they have to take for their general credits.

            “It wasn’t a lunch date,” Romano grounds out with a glare. He flops down into his seat and grumbles, “No matter how many times you ask, I’m not telling you.”

            Feli frowns a little, sitting down a lot more gently than his brother. “Was it really that bad, Lovino?”

            The elder Italian scowls but relaxes as he can’t always be irritated or mad at his brother. “No. I just don’t want to talk about it. Okay?”

            The copper headed Italian nods with a frown but soon smiles when he sees one of his friends enter the room. He juts out of his seat and waves maniacally at his friend. “Kiku! Kiku sit over here with us!”

            Romano eyes a short Japanese student who tense up at the attention brought onto him. He feels sorry for the poor guy who has to deal with his brother, but smiles as he’s happy that Feli has friends to hang out with. The Japanese student hides his face under his black bangs as he rushes over just to appease Feliciano and sit in the free seat next to him. Feli launches himself to hug Kiku, but the boy’s reflexes cause him to take Feli’s arms and hold them away from him, dropping his school bag in his intended chair.

            “Please, Feli-san, I do not like people entering my space.” His face turns paler at the idea of being hugged. “We have spoken about this already. Ludwig-san even tried to enforce it for you to respect people’s boundaries.”

            Feliciano stills as he thinks about it, and then deflates into his chair. “Sorry, Kiku.” He smiles bashfully with some guilt written on his face. “I forgot.”

            “That tends to happen when you get all amped up on giddiness.” Romano rolls his eyes as he watches the other student pick up his bag to sit beside Feli. “You’ll have to get used to his antics if you really want to be friends with him. He can be quite a pain in the ass.”

            The younger Italian pouts at his brother. “Fratelloooo~,” he whines disapprovingly.

            Romano chuckles. “But he’s still loveable. That’s why people like him so much.” The olive skinned brother ruffle’s the other’s hair, avoiding the obvious curl. “I gotta hand it to you though,” he speaks again as he lets his brother go and gazes at the Japanese kid, “you’ve got some good reflexes to stop my brother’s Death Hug of Happiness.”

            Kiku blinks as Feliciano hits his brother lightly on the shoulder. The Japanese student smiles a little while pulling out his notebooks and a glasses case. “I come from a family of martial artists. It is hard not to have good reflexes.” He opens his glasses case - which Romano notes has a scribble on it saying “SPARES” - and slides on some thick black framed glasses. “Would you happen to be Lovino-san?”

            Romano hums as he nods. “And I’m guessing you’re Kiku?” He grins a little.

            “Hai,” the Japanese student answers with a nod, bowing his head further in greeting. “It is nice to meet the older brother of Feli-san.”

            “Likewise,” Romano responds. “It’s good to know mio fratello has a friend other than that German kid.”

            “Lovi, Ludwig is a good friend.” Feliciano puffs his cheeks out in a pout.

            “I don’t care.” Romano scowls at his brother. “Something about him just makes me feel wary. I don’t like him.”

            “Ludwig-san is a kind person, Lovino-san.” Kiku glances over at the older Italian. “I have known him for a few years. He’s intelligent and strict but kind.”

            The older student glowers and gazes at the desk in front of him, crossing his arms across his chest. He doesn’t like being ganged up on for anything. “You can think all you want and try to convince me, but I don’t know him. I probably won’t ever like him so you can stop trying.” He huffs as the other two glance at each other and shrug.

            When the topic is dropped, they hear the door open on the bottom row near the professor’s desk. All eyes lock on to the two figures that walk in, one being the professor while the other is a young gentleman in a suit right behind him. The professor drops off his papers and clears his throat, waiting for everyone to settle down before speaking. The other man stands to the side and a little back, eyes staring at the desk in front of him. Romano notes how the young man seems to be shaking a little, either with nervousness or anticipation. He doesn’t know.

            “Good morning,” the professor drawls. Half the class replies before he continues. “I am here to announce that from today until the end of the semester, I will be leaving this class in the hands of an intern.” He turns to the man next to him and motions for him to step forward. “Please, introduce yourself.”

            The ashen-blond man looks up and nods, stepping forward and gazing at the crowd of students. “My name is Arthur Kirkland,” he states, accent British and thick. “You may call me Mr. Kirkland or by my name. Please refrain from calling me by nicknames as I dislike any shortening of my name.” He waits a moment longer before stepping back again, pushing up his red under-rimmed glasses so they’re sitting on his nose correctly.

            “Yes, well,” the professor takes a second to recover before turning back to the class, “you will all be in his care.” He takes a stack of papers and stands them up against the podium desk for them to straighten. “He has compiled his own plans for this semester while also taking on my own. He’s a well-known student professor in the English division but has yet to teach this class. It is right up his alley as it is British Literature this class will be reading and talking about.” He glances up at the class, a small one with only 20 to 22 students. “There will also be a classroom change since there is no need for a huge room to hold only 23 people.” He smiles a little with a nod. “If you all will grab your things, Mr. Kirkland and I will show you to our new classroom.”

            The professor grabs the rest of his things and heads out the door, Arthur following close behind. Everyone begins muttering in slight shock at the sudden change after a week of classes but decides to pack up and follow their professors anyway. Romano plus the two with him do the same, but the elder Italian can’t help but think this is a good chance.

            As they walk down the steps towards the door the professor and Arthur exited, Romano wonders aloud, “Maybe we can take this chance at skip.”

            “Lovi, you know we can’t afford to do that.” Feliciano scolds.

            “They don’t know that.” Romano shrugs. “Our tuition is paid for because of Nonno. We could do anything we please with no holds bar.”

            “I would advise not to do that.”

            The olive skinned student jumps as he glares at the voice behind them. The other two are also surprised by the new voice in their conversation, even more shocked as it’s Arthur, but stay quiet. They did pass through the door but none of them saw the British man standing near it.

            “Oh yeah?” Romano grins. “Just try and stop me from doing so.”

            Arthur sighs with a shake of his head before scowling at the challenging Italian. “If you really think small of your grandfather saving money for you two to come here, then by all means, run along and stop wasting our time.” When he sees the last of the students exit, he closes the door before glancing at the three as he walks past them. “If you don’t, then don’t waste your grandfather’s money. In college, it is a privilege just to be in class when there are some who are unable to afford being here. Time also equates with money. Spend it wisely or else you’ll regret it.”

            Romano balks as he watches the student professor walk behind the rest of his class. Feliciano and Kiku blink in surprise while grinning a little as they quickly ditch the frozen man to catch up with everyone else. The elder Italian breaks out of his paralyzed state and curses everyone out.

            “Ass-hole,” he mumbles while speed walking after everyone. “Thinks just because he’s going to be the professor he can just say anything and scold me. Fucking dick.” He hoists up his bag on his shoulder before stuffing his hand in his pants pockets. “May be good looking but still a jerk.”

            He continues complaining right up until they reach the new classroom. He walks in last, glowering at Arthur who raises his bushy eyebrows up with a slowly growing grin. Cursing out the blond under his breath, he goes over to the tables his brother and Kiku chose to sit at. He flops down and makes it known he’s not taking any notes. He’s going to sit there and do nothing. Arthur can’t make him do shit.

            Why is it the good looking guys are jerks that he can’t stand? It’s not like he’ll ever be with any of them, but he just wonders. There most likely isn’t anyone out there for him. If there is, that guy would have to deal with all of his bull shit and mood swings. Like anyone out there could.

            Romano simmers down as Feliciano whispers to him. The three decide they’ll stick together, even if two of them ditched the one which Romano will never forget. Any projects that Arthur pops up on them they can handle. So when they are handed the revised syllabus with a bunch of new books and plans to do over the course of five months, they instantly make plans.

            This time Romano will do nothing but he will show that snobbish man that he won’t waste his nonno’s money. He will surprise the bastard with his own intellect while also writing the best damned papers he can push out. Make that British bastard’s grin fall off his face.

            Romano grins as he thinks of multiple ideas only to scowl when he sees Arthur stand in front of his table. The two have a stare down before the Brit sniffs and moves on.  _Smarmy bastard._  The Italian swears vengeance on being humiliated and talked down to.  _Bring it on. I’ll take everything you dish out._  He grins as he watches the blond finally start class, talking about which books he’s added that should now be in the bookstore for everyone to pick up. Romano mentally groans at more books to get last minute but doesn’t make a face. He’ll deal with everything Arthur does.

            This Italian has no idea how important the student professor will become in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple weeks into the semester and Romano gets to finally cook with another student, his partner Antonio.

            A few days later, Romano definitely has a fun rivalry with Arthur, who easily accepts having the silly rivalry with him. The Italian also spends his lunches quietly with Antonio, who keeps talking enough for the both of them. The days pass by nicely, weekends spent either sleeping or working on his homework while his brother goes out with his friends. Feliciano has gotten more friends by the second week as it turns into the third week. The first month is close to an end and Romano can’t believe it. He knows he’ll feel the same once the semester is near over, but it’s just a surprise to him.

            Romano Lovino Vargas is actually having fun. He gripes and complains, always making it hard for Feliciano’s friends when he’s around but they take it in stride. They’re willing to deal with him because they find him interesting. The elder Italian finds he’s feeling happy, glad that Feliciano is forcing him along in the group escapades. It’s how he met Gilbert, the older brother of Ludwig, and Alfred, a very annoying and very loud American who happens to be a cousin of Arthur’s. Alfred boasts about it while also putting Arthur down. That’s the only reason why Romano doesn’t mind Alfred being around him.

            The two obnoxious kids, as Romano refers to them since he’s older than them, favor him over his brother, which surprises him. He doesn’t know why but they will be with Feliciano and once he’s in their line of sight, they yell his name and rush on over to annoy the hell out of him. Feli doesn’t complain since he thinks it’s nice Romano finally has people who like being around him, but Romano absolutely hates it. Especially when they make it a mission of theirs to either scare the ever living shit out of Romano or prank him so badly that they’re rolling on the floor laughing while he’s thrashing around in anger.

            He’s only known them for two and a half weeks and they’ve already scared him five times and successfully pranked him three and a half times. A half time because he found out about it but ended up falling for it in the end. Feliciano laughs with his friends a lot, which is good, but it annoys Romano just the same because he knows his brother is a conniving little shit. Feli will make up pranks in the future and ask for the two bumbling idiots for help. He just knows it.

            Like any other day, the start of the fourth week makes no difference for Romano. He grudgingly goes to his general classes of the morning with his brother, dealing with the onslaught of challenges and obvious picking from Arthur through British Literature. He has yet to fuck anything up and usually flips Arthur off under the table when he gives a good answer. Every time that happens, the Brit snorts but grins with amusement. Romano is proud of himself. It isn’t until he gets to his culinary class that things change up a bit for him.

            Francis saunters in before Romano enters the same kitchen classroom they’ve moved to during the second week of the semester. Everyone has been cooking their own dishes so far and Francis has been blatant with critiques. Being a famous chef from his own line of restaurants kind of gives him the place to do so. He sugar coats his words a lot but always ends with a helpful suggestion. He never bashes anyone, which Romano is grateful for.

            The Italian rushes over to his seat next to Antonio, ignoring the ‘afternoon’ coo and wave the other gives him. He sets all his things down and discards his jacket, rolling up his sleeves as he grabs the apron he’s brought along for the cooking classes specifically. Raring and ready to cook, he waits until Francis gives them a recipe so he can finally start doing what he wholeheartedly loves.

            “All right mon petite fluers,” Francis speaks, gaining everyone’s attention after they’re cleaned and have put their aprons on. “Today will be slightly different.” He grins a little devilishly, causing a shiver to go down mostly everyone’s spine. “We will be working in pairs instead of doing things solo. I will assign everyone the designation of chef and sous chef.” The students begin muttering, excited to have more experience. Romano bristles with excitement in his eyes but his face stays neutral. Francis continues. “Everyone is already sectioned off into pairs since the desks are tables for two.” He chuckles a little at a thought no one hears. “I will keep you with your partners but one will be the lead and the other will be the attending helper. I’ve compiled a list based on who I believe should be the chefs of each pair. Be ready, students, as not everyone that I have chosen can easily lead.”

            Francis begins naming off the chefs for today and Romano hears his name in the middle of it. He refrains from fist pumping and instead clenches a fist as he waits for Francis to name the dish and recipe they will be doing today.

            “Congrats on being chef today,” Antonio whisper behind him.

            Romano snorts. “Of course I’d be chef when paired with you.”

            “Well, I don’t know. I’ve also got some cooking skills.” Antonio chuckles.

            With a roll of his eyes, he mentally admits that Antonio’s cooking always looks delicious but he’s never tasted it. “We’ll see about that, sous chef.” A glint in his eye sends a shiver down Antonio’s back.

            The Spaniard grins, a grin that Romano is slightly surprised to see. “I will impress you, Lovi. Even if I have to be sous chef the whole semester, I will gain your approval.”

            The Italian sense an underlining subtext that he’s missing but shoves it as soon as Francis announces the dish they’re doing for today. He instantly orders Antonio to get the ingredients while he preps the stove and gathers the tools needed. The tanned man doesn’t argue and does as told, much to Romano’s delight. He kind of likes ordering people around but wouldn’t do it in life. He’d only do it at work, once he gets a job as a chef.

            They work on the recipe together, Romano leading as Antonio preps all the side ingredients and dishes. The Italian will hate to admit it, but Antonio seems to be a fast cook who can get things done with minimal mistakes. Minimal mistakes that he instantly spots and tries to fix.

            “You put too much in!”

            “Whoops! Sorry!”

            “Idiot, we can’t do anything now. We need to just balance it out somehow.”

            “I know! How about-?”

            “Yes! That might work. Hurry it up! Time’s been wasted because of this mistake.”

            “Yes, chef!”

            Being called chef sends a chill down Romano’s spine that he welcomes. A sloppy grin finds its way onto his face for a sliver of a moment before being replaced with a serious scowl. He rerolls his sleeves up his arm and gets to it once more. By time they finish cooking everything as perfect as Romano and Antonio can cook, they still have half an hour of class time left. They wipe their foreheads from the heat of the stove and look at each other, Antonio smiling wide with a small laugh and Romano grinning in triumph.

            Francis notices them being the first to finish and quickly sashays over to their table. “You are done already?” He crosses his arms and sees the dish they worked on, all prepped and presentable enough for a restaurant. His eyebrows rise up and hide under his shorter bangs. “Well, it looks presentable, that’s for sure.”

            “I figured I could do the detail this time,” Antonio pipes up. “Lovino let me.” He winks at his chef.

            Romano rolls his eyes while crossing his arms. “I only let you to gauge how skilled you are. I must say, not bad.”

            As that’s the only praise he knows he’ll get, Antonio brightens up. “Glad you approve!”

            Humming, Francis nods. “For appearance you both receive an A+.” He smiles as the two either fist pump or grin wide. “Now for taste.” The Frenchman picks up his eating utensil and eats a small portion of the dish. His eyes widen at the taste, nearly watering from happiness. They glaze over and sparkle, just like an anime character’s eyes would when either ready to cry or tasting something so fabulous there are no words to describe it. Like that Food Wars anime, but Romano and Antonio are far from reaching those heights yet. “C’est Magnifique! Zut alors…” he trails off while humming in pleasure, body wiggling. The class tries to ignore the embarrassing sounds and movements the Frenchman makes and stare at the two who caused it. “A+! The two of you may leave after cleaning your station. I will take care of the dish, though, so I will clean the utensils and plate. Au Revoir!”

            Romano holds back a snort as their professor grabs up all that he needs and goes over to his desk to finish eating. Giving Antonio a look, he starts cleaning up, eager to finish class off early. Antonio does the same. Within the next seven minutes everything is clean and they’re leaving the classroom.

            “Would you like to have lunch, Lovi?” Antonio asks innocently as he pulls his satchel over his head so the strap goes across his chest.

            “It’s way past lunch time, idot. Anyway, it would break our deal if we go over the limit per week.” The Italian rolls his eyes. He thinks about it though and finds that Antonio did put a lot of effort in cooking with him. Why not? He’s been having lunches with Toni for nearly a month now. This day would break the usual pattern they’ve set up but that’s fine. “Then again, I could go for a snack and a drink.”

            Antonio brightens up. “Why don’t we go to a café this time? I’ll  pay!”

            “Sold,” Romano instantly answers, not one to turn down free food. “But I choose the café place we go to.”

            “Okay.” The Spaniard chirps happily, walking beside Romano like he has forever.

            Maybe the guy isn’t all that bad. Maybe Antonio isn’t that weird. Overly happy at times, yes, but not too weird. There are moments Romano isn’t sure he’s seeing the whole picture but he’s not sure. Moment’s like flecks of contradicting feelings in Antonio’s eyes. The Spaniard may not be the happy-go-lucky, easy going man he makes himself out to be. Romano will never know unless he gets to know the guy, which he doesn’t really want to do. It seems he has no choice though as Antonio doesn’t plan on leaving him alone any time soon. Maybe Romano can do his detective work about Antonio while playing nice. Nah. The idiot’s not worth the time to worry over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romano gets out of a prank but doesn't get out of a warning for almost being tardy. Either way, he still has some of his own fun.

            “Dude, you should have been there! I pulled off the most righteous prank ever! With the help of a new friend, too!” Alfred clamors over to Gilbert and puts an arm around his shoulder, wide grin on his face. “I think you’d like him. I sure like him. He’s kind of like us.”

            “Like we need another one of you two idiots.” Romano sends them a dull look, unimpressed. He’s secretly happy that he wasn’t the target of their recent prank, but dreads the thought of there being a third in their party to help. It will make his days worse. He’ll have to have eyes everywhere and he has no time to stress over stupid shit like that.

            Al sticks out his tongue at the Italian like the growing adult he is, grinning at the platinum blond German next to him. “Whatta ya say, Gil? Wanna meet ‘im?”

            Gilbert grins at Romano, who he was just in the middle of pranking before Al came over. “Seems you get yourself a get-out-of-prank card, Lovino.”

            “Gee. Thanks.” The Italian crosses his arms over his chest. “Can I go to class now with mio fratello and Kiku? It’s too early in the fucking morning for this.”

            “Yeah, yeah.” Gilbert waves him on. “You go. We’ll be making other plans with our to-be-newest-member.”

            Sighing, Romano holds in a groan and shakes his head. “Do whatever you idiots want. I’m out of here.” He turns on his heel and heads over to the other two who are waiting for him. Making sure that they really won’t prank him this time, he peers over his shoulder and watches them walk off in the opposite direction. “Good. Don’t want to walk in and have Arthur ridicule me from a stupid prank of theirs.”

            “It’s not like he doesn’t ridicule you already, fratello.” Feli meets him half way with Kiku. “Now hurry! We’ll be late!” He grabs Romano’s arm and starts dragging him to the classroom.

            “It won’t be my fault! I can just drop Alfred’s name and Arthur will give us a pass so he can scold Al later!” Which is true, he knows this. He and Arthur have gotten chummy over the month, which he denies, but the two have shared a few things when emailing or meeting in the English Department building offices. Romano had to visit the offices six times already for questions, advice for papers, and to just bother the Brit. He enjoys his time with the grumpy bushy browed man but won’t ever admit it. “Don’t need to drag me like a ragdoll, Feli!”

            “Yes I do! Or you’ll be late. I don’t care if you might get a pass, there’s a 50 percent chance you won’t.” Feli keeps pulling him along, keeping track of Kiku. “How many more minutes Kiku?”

            “Exactly three minutes and twenty-four seconds.”

            “Dang, we still got time. Slow it down you two.” Romano pouts, complaining in his head about how Feli never used to care about punctuality until now.

            The two ignore him and they rush into class before Arthur could close the door. Arthur is now known for closing the door so who ever enters will be known to be late. To him, three tardies equal one absence, and since only two absences are not counted against anyone for the whole semester, people need to be careful.

            The blond stands next to the door, watching the hands on his watch tick by. “Cutting it close, you three.”

            “We’re sorry!” Feli expresses some relief though as he lets his brother go and goes towards his seat with Kiku.

            “It’s not like this is all that important.” Romano rolls his eyes. “Your cousin was holding us up with one of his lame pranks.”

            “Bringing Alfred up will not get you out of being tardy, Mr. Vargas.” Arthur stares at Romano with unimpressed eyes before grinning ever just a little bit for the Italian to see.

            The brown haired man pouts with a small scowl. “Strict bastard.”

            The Brit raises a bushy eyebrow at the comment. “Would you like to be kicked out of class due to your fowl mouth?”

            “Like your mouth is any cleaner.” Romano grins. “I’ll just take my seat. Might want to close the door before any tardy people slip in.” Some people behind the Italian curse him silently as they try to sneak by. He snorts and walks over to his chair, peering over at the blond man before sitting down.

            Arthur has a lopsided grin filled with amusement. Knowing the strict man, those who came in just now would still be marked tardy. He soon closes the door and goes to the podium, ready to begin class.

            “Why must you challenge him, fratello?” Feli whispers.

            “Because he’s a jerk worth challenging,” Romano answers quietly as he slouches in his chair, playing with his bag so he can grab his things out. Unlike how he acts, he’s very diligent when he wants to be. In this particular class, he tries to go that extra mile because it’s Arthur who’s teaching. “He doesn’t back down. It’s fun. Not many people I knew or know now fight me on even ground based on just playful banter. Majority of the time, well, you know.” He frowns as he sits up and begins writing a little for the start of the class. “People tend to get pissed at what I say and fight with anger.”

            The younger Italian thinks on that and smiles as he realizes it’s true. “I’m glad you finally found someone who’s sort of like you. Or at least understands that side of you.”

            Romano snorts, about to reply when something hits him square in the forehead. He blinks in slight surprise before focusing on what was thrown at him. A small eraser, or a rubber as Arthur would call it. He looks up at the culprit and sees the Brit grinning while holding a stern gaze. The Italian rolls his eyes, refraining from flipping him off since everyone is looking at him right now.

            “Fine, I’ll pay attention. What were you going on about again?”

            Some students chuckle while others sigh in irritation at Romano’s antics. Arthur shakes his head and turns back to the board behind him, continuing with everyone’s attention on him again. At this moment, Romano pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of his lone middle finger, attaching it and sending it to Arthur’s private email so as to not get into trouble with the school email. They exchanged private email addresses once some of their conversations got too personal for the school email. That was during the third week of the semester, which wasn’t all that long ago. He makes sure to add a little, “This is for throwing the ‘rubber’ at me in class, ass-hole.”

            As the hour and thirty minutes of class passes, Romano takes his notes while also dealing with Arthur calling on him for some answers or to ask questions. Surprisingly, Romano has plenty of questions based on the readings they’ve done. Two or three other students as well, but he’s the conversationalist in this class, which is another reason why he thinks Arthur puts up with his shit. Romano can fool around and be lazy, but he can be a serious student when he wants to be. Arthur always grins a little happily when he sees Romano raise his hand or just speak up when no one’s talking. Romano likes sparking that flame behind the green irises Arthur has.

            Class soon comes to an end and everyone packs up. Romano takes his time since his next class is a free class to spend time on creating a recipe for everyone to cook. Francis is an awesome teacher and Romano isn’t afraid to say so, even if the man can be seriously loony.

            “Go on ahead, you two,” Romano says when he realizes Feli and Kiku are waiting for him. “You can go to your other classes. I have time to kill since my next class is basically a free period.”

            “Okay!” Feli smiles and waves, heading on out with his quiet Japanese friend.

            As he finishes packing up, Romano notices Arthur standing at the front and staring at him, papers in his arms and a far off look. He raises an eyebrow as he knows that look all too well. Arthur wants something but is uncertain of asking for it.

            “Oi,” Romano calls to him, snapping the Brit out of his haze. “You need something?”

            “Ah, no.” Arthur straightens himself and gazes at Romano with a determined, neutral face. “Just thinking about upcoming projects.”

            “Right.” Romano obviously doesn’t believe him. “Why don’t you stop spewing shit and just tell me what’s up.”

            Arthur bristles with a pout, sighing as he caves in. “I was wondering if you’d ever be up for some afternoon tea with me.”

            The Italian’s eyebrows rise up under his bangs in surprise. “Wow. To think a student professor would be asking for a student’s time. A student who he’s teaching.”

            Scowling, Arthur shakes his head. “Never mind. You may leave and do as you please.”

            He’s about to walk off but Romano follows him out of the room and walks beside him. “I’m not much for tea but I could go for a good drink at a bar or pub.”

            Arthur looks at him warily, calculating and formulating. He soon grins. “I might accept that. Fair warning, I’m not the best drunk.”

            Romano snorts. “Neither am I.” With his own grin, he nudges the other lightly with his shoulder. “Let’s have some fun, shall we?”

            That night Romano drinks with Arthur until he blacks out and they find themselves at Arthur’s apartment. They still have their clothes on – which is a relief for the both of them - but sport massive hangovers. Each of them smile slowly, chuckling at their ridiculousness. Arthur makes sure to mention that just because they’re on good terms doesn’t mean he will be lenient with Romano being tardy or mouthing off in class. Romano remarks that he doesn’t give a shit. It doesn’t take much for them to realize that their rivalry is blooming into a nice friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after Arthur and Romano went out to drink.

            Romano groans as the hangover progresses through the morning. His eyes are red and he’s cursing himself out over suggesting getting drinks with that not so bad student professor. Arthur’s not that bad a guy as he’s coming to find out. He wishes he could remember the night before and the embarrassing shit they must have gotten into, but maybe it’s for the best that he doesn’t remember. That is until he sees Alfred with a shit eating grin on his face coming over to him.

            “Dude, you were plastered last night with my cousin,” the American states as he stops in front of Romano. “I cannot believe that he got you to go drinking with him. He’s an f-ing horrible drunk.”

            “So he warned me about,” Romano grumbles, hand rubbing his face as he puts two fingers against his left temple. He rubs small circles on his temple, willing the pain away. “I don’t have a damn clue what happened last night after our fifth round.”

            Alfred’s eyes rise up in surprise. “Geez, you guys seriously drank the night away, huh?” He hums, showing a lopsided grin. “Do you wanna know what you guys were doing?”

            “No,” Romano grounds out, eyes narrowing into a glare at the blond. “And don’t just go right into telling me either. We have classes to go to and I have a lunch date to catch.” He ignores the fact that he called it a lunch date with Antonio.

            “Oh? With who?” Alfred’s interest is obviously piqued. “Aren’t you, like, spending time with my coz?”

            Rolling his eyes, the Italian sighs. “Arthur and I are just starting to become friends. The Spanish bastard, however, is just a pain in the ass that made a deal with me regarding lunches. None of your fucking business, idiota.” He presses the palm of his hand against his head, squeezing his eyes shut as a spark of pain shoots through his brain. He usually doesn’t have such hard hangovers but this one is killing him. Maybe he should skip class to rest. He has a few allowed absences he can take. “If you’ll excuse me, ass-wipe, I have a class to skip.” Decision made, Romano turns around and heads back to his dorm room.

            “I’ll tell Arthur you’re skipping out then.”

            This halts him. Bringing up that British bastard is a low blow and Alfred knows it too. Romano peers over his shoulder with a glare so deadly that Alfred shivers from the intensity. “I have enough of that from your fucking cousin. Don’t you start,” the Italian says in warning.

            The American holds up his hands with a nervous laugh. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.” He looks around the campus. “Some people need a day to themselves sometimes. I get it. I’ve, uh, skipped classes, too.” Romano calms down and raises an eyebrow at Alfred, who smiles a little and puts on some puppy dog eyes. “Please don’t tell, Artie. He’ll ream me out if he finds I’m skipping classes.”

            Snorting in amusement, Romano nods. “If you swear not to tattle on me, I won’t squeal on you.” He turns around and sticks out his hand, serious about this deal. “Shake on it.”

            Alfred immediately shakes his hand, grin brightening up. “Thanks, dude. I’ll let ya rest up for now. And have a nice lunch date. Everyone knows you need someone to loosen you up.” He pulls his hand out and away before Romano can react to his comment, running in the opposite direction. “Later dude!”

            “ALFRED!” Romano shouts after him, soon regretting it as he winces in pain, not moving to chase that stupid American friend of his. Sighing, he rolls his eyes with a small grin, stubbornly agreeing that he probably does need to loosen up. “Doubt that bastard will be the one to do so.” He chuckles a little, turning again so he can go back to his room.

            The Italian sends a text to his brother letting him know that he’ll be skipping classes for today, his first time doing so. Feli replies instantly, telling him that it’s okay since he knows Romano is suffering from a bad hangover. The elder brother smiles fondly as Feli also wishes him well but then rolls his eyes about not forgetting to let Antonio know if he plans to reschedule their lunch date. He figures that he should do that but opts to let the professors of his classes for today know he’s not coming in due to being ill, a 24 hour sickness, and asking them for a summarized email of what he missed and what he should work on before next class.

            After getting those out of the way, he stuffs his phone in his pocket and grabs his student ID. He walks up to the door, scanning his ID over the pass lock, and heads on into his dorm. As soon as he goes through the hall towards the stairs, Romano’s phone buzzes with a Spanish ringtone he set up for Antonio. He sighs, taking the phone back out and answers as he steps up to the second floor.

            “I’m not in the mood to talk right now, idiot,” he says into the receiver end.

            “That’s okay, Lovi! I just wanted to know if you were okay.” Antonio’s concern and frown are audible as he speaks through the phone. “Your brother just told me you have a bad hangover. Would you like my house remedy for it?”

            Romano weighs the pros and cons of Antonio coming to his dorm with the remedy, probably having lunch in his room and being able to laze about when he’s done. His heart is telling him to just let the guy come but his brain is saying he shouldn’t just let someone into a sacred place when he doesn’t fully trust them. Sighing, he gives in to his heart this time around while stubbornly refusing at the same time.

            “Wouldn’t want you to miss any class time,” he mumbles as he takes his key and inserts it into his door, unlocking the handle and entering his room. “There’s no need for you to drop everything just because I’m suffering through something so minor.”

            “Hangovers aren’t minor, and I don’t mind. There’s no classes for me today.”

            “Then how did you bump into my brother?” Romano raises an eyebrow, confusion sweeping over him.

            “He’s with my friend’s little brother right now,” Antonio answers honestly. “They were walking to class and he flagged me down. He told me you might message me about rescheduling our lunch date but wasn’t entirely sure you would. So he told me everything I needed to know before I decided to call you.” He sounds so chipper at the end that it sickens Romano.

            Before commenting on anything else, Romano gripes about Feli. “I told him I didn’t like him being around the damn German.” He growls in distastes, glaring his brother’s side of the room. “I don’t like that German. Don’t trust him.”

            “Why? Ludwig is a nice guy.” Antonio audibly pouts again. “Why don’t you like him?”

            “I just don’t, okay?” The hairs on his neck stand as he thinks of the real reason why he doesn’t want Feli around Ludwig. No matter how nice the guy is, no matter how close they get, he’s terrified that he’ll lose Feli to him. That romantic love will win out over brotherly love. He sees it building up. It’s been a month. People start dating way earlier than a month but at least they’re stalling. He doesn’t want them to date but he wants his brother’s happiness. It’s a conflicting feeling he’s been dealing with since first seeing the two in the book store. “I don’t wanna go into it,” he finally says after a long pause.

            “That’s okay,” the Spaniard softly coos, letting Romano know he won’t pry. “So, should I come over with the hangover cure?”

            Rolling his eyes, Romano smiles a little. “Whatever,” he relents, “just text me when you’re at the door. We’re in the Hetalian Dorm.”

            “Aw, lucky. I wanted to be in that dorm.” Antonio whines a little. “I’m in the Regional Dorm.”

            “Whoever made up these dorm names is stupid.” Romano chuckles.

            “I agree.” Antonio hums. “I’ll be there in a couple of minutes. Text ya soon!”

            They hang up, and Romano shakes his head. Kicking off his shoes, he hops onto his high bed and gets comfy for a few minutes before Antonio arrives. It doesn’t take all that long for the Spanish man to get there with the cure. He’s all smiles but frowns when seeing the Italian in pain from drinking so much.

            “Why did you go out drinking?” Antonio asks as he hands the bottle he brought over. “You’re not that stressed, are you?”

            Romano rolls his eyes, taking the bottle. “No. I just went out for some fun with a friend.” He uncaps the bottle and chugs as much of it down without smelling or tasting it as much.

            He doesn’t see Antonio flinch and sneer before frowning again in concern. “Were they a trusty worthy friend?”

            With a small ‘ah’ and ‘guh’ from drinking the bottle, Romano nods. “From what I know of, yeah. He’s an all right guy.”

            “Who’d you go out with?”

            “Just some other student from my English class.” Romano shrugs, not knowing that there’s an undertone to Antonio’s questions. “We met during the second week. He seemed like an ass-hole and can still be a jerk, but he’s okay when outside of the classroom.”

            “And his name?” Antonio presses.

            Romano stares at him and raises an eyebrow. “Why do you care?” It’s odd that Antonio suddenly seems so interested in Arthur. Is he interested in the guy? Does he want a trusty drinking buddy? The thought of Arthur and Antonio actually ties knots in his stomach uncomfortably. “It’s not like you’ll be seeing him around a lot.”

            “You never know.” Antonio smiles. “I might actually know him.” He shrugs. “Just wondering if you’ve met a friend of mine and I don’t know about it.”

            Humming, Romano thinks about that. Would it be any harm to tell him about Arthur? Maybe not, but something is telling him not to share anything about the Brit. Not yet. “If he is, he would have mentioned being a friend of mine to you by now.”

            Antonio ponders over that before nodding with his own hum. “True. So, maybe it’s someone I know but isn’t a friend?”

            “Do you know everyone on campus?”

            “Almost.” The Spaniard chuckles. “I get around a lot since I’m friendly and like being around people.”

            That unnerves Romano a little, bringing up questions he wants to ask about that. Is Antonio a player? Does he sleep around? Should he be trusted? Will Romano just get hurt by him when he’s already broken enough as it is? He stuffs these questions down when he thinks that it’s just because the guy is easy going. Being friendly doesn’t mean that they go around messing with people’s heart strings. No, they’re just the type of people who are there for you and kind. The kind of person Romano definitely needs in his life. So he ignores the alarms in his head as his heart numbs out all reasonable doubt.

            “If that’s so, I wonder how jealous your significant other gets,” he mumbles aloud.

            “Oh, I’m not dating anyone,” Antonio happily states a little too eagerly for Romano. “So I don’t have to deal with someone who bogs me down just because I’m with friends and not with them.” He cringes a little at the thought. “I don’t like jealous girlfriends or boyfriends. They tend to be too possessive and annoying after a while. They just don’t understand that I need some me time or even just moments with friends. Just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean that I’ll just whore myself out to anyone who’s willing.” He frowns. “I’m a loyal guy.”

            Romano blinks as he hears Antonio go on about how good he thinks he easy as a potential boyfriend, all the qualities even Romano would want. Someone who’s not overly clingy, overbearing, respects personal space and time, willing to be with friends. Maybe a slight possessiveness but nothing too toxic. What the Spaniard stated prior got him thinking about how he must have experienced it firsthand. A possessive, jealous girlfriend or boyfriend. Boyfriend.

            Antonio just stated that he’s bisexual and single. Romano actually has a chance at one of the good looking guys on campus. If he wants to try that is. Right now, romance is the least of his worries. For himself anyway. He worries over his brother’s love life more than anything because of anxiety.

            After Antonio finishes talking about his thoughts of himself as good boyfriend material, he switches topics to cooking class. Romano spends the next hour and a half with Antonio, talking about cooking and different recipes until the Spaniard leaves. They promise lunch for tomorrow and swear to continue thinking up recipes for their class. Antonio likes proving to Romano that he’s a good cook no matter the little mistakes made during the process.

            The Italian hates to admit it but the Spaniard is growing on him. So much so that the bubble he found during their first lunch date is kind of becoming a homey place for him to seek out when he’s not feeling well. He’s not sure if he wants to really try for anything more now that it is confirmed that Antonio is single and likes men just the same. It’d be a good change, maybe a nice risk. Romano’s only ever dated a few people but they were never serious. Antonio seems serious. He wants something serious and if Antonio’s the only one who’s willing to put up with him as he is now, then he should grab Toni before anyone else does.

            How does one go about not being obviously crushing on a person who they’re getting to know after only a month? How does one also subtly make it known that they’re interested in the person while not giving themselves away entirely? Antonio is crap at doing either but Romano is still unsure and in denial. Maybe it’s time for the Italian to take a leap. The only problem is he’s scared of possible rejection or of getting hurt. He won’t know unless he tries.

            Then again he can always wait for Antonio to ask him out. Yeah, that would be the safer option. “I’ll wait for him,” he mutters aloud as he closes his eyes. “I can be stubborn and stick it out until then. I can…” he trails off, thoughts quickly melting together as he loses himself to sleep. Best remedy for mostly everything: sleep it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One weekend Romano decides to spy on his brother and bumps into the Awesome Trio plus one British Gent.

            Romano hides behind a tree as he follows his brother and his group of friends. He’s trying not to be spotted while spying on that blond German kid with his brother, making sure that nothing happens between the two. It’s a weekend, a time Romano usually opts to do homework or nothing at all most days. This time, he found out that Feliciano was going on a double date with Ludwig, Kiku, and some guy named Heracles from Greece. He was so going to crash this date if possible. Maybe even embarrass Ludwig and make Feli see he’s not worthy. An evil grin appears on his face as he imagines all the possible things he can do, trying so hard not to laugh malevolently.

            When the four move from their meet up point, they start walking down the street past a café. Romano makes sure that he’s not noticeable, baseball cap on his head with some shades over his eyes. He’s also wearing something he wouldn’t be caught dead in, an outfit that kids at the age of 15 back in his high school used to wear just to seem cool – baggy hooded sweater that’s half-way zipped, loose jeans that rest lower than his hips, old sneakers he doesn’t wear anymore. Those stupid looking punk kids who think they’re all that but aren’t. He hopes to god no one recognizes him while he’s out.

            It’s only two weeks into the second month and Romano thinks that these guys are just moving too fast. Feliciano should know better than to just hop on the bandwagon of dating after a month and two weeks of knowing someone. Then again, he spends almost every other moment with Ludwig when not in class, working on homework, or in their shared dorm room. Romano’s getting tired of hearing things about Ludwig and every time he tries to ask Feli to kindly shut up, he has the gall to bring up how Romano can’t shut up about Antonio or Arthur. Which is utter bull crap because Romano doesn’t gush about either of them like Feli does about Ludwig.

            This is already causing a small fissure between them and Romano’s panicking. His panicking tends to end up being small tantrums that include swearing storms of rage. Feliciano usually tunes him out or leaves the room when he’s like this, but these moments are when he’s alone. He’s already had to replace two light bulbs for his lamp and several pencils he broke. There’s some small cuts on his palm from breaking things, which doesn’t help with cooking at all. Francis, Antonio, and Arthur all show their concern when he’s frazzled and not focused. He really needs to get this taken care of.

            So the answer he believes will resolve it all is if he ruins any dates they go on by themselves, Feli will run to him and swear to never leave him or try for love again. He ignores all the warning flags in his head how this will just cause the gap to grow and keeps following the four into a movie theater. He listens to which movie they are going to see then pays for his own ticket and bucket of popcorn, acting all nonchalant and part of the crowd. They all go into the specific screen and choose seats on the right side of the theater a couple rows from the front. Romano chooses a seat in the back, eyes glued to the back of Ludwig’s head.

            The Italian munches on his popcorn, waiting for the movie to start while also watching his brother with his friends and intended date. He sighs through his nose, thoughts of how low he’s going right now and acting like a father spying on his daughter’s first date. He soon convinces himself that he should just let them be and watch the movie, and he does. For majority of the beginning until some scary parts come across the screen.

            “Dude,” a familiar voice whispers next to him, causing him to jump and look up at an annoying American with three others behind him. Alfred raises his eyebrows up as he grins. “Mind if we take the seats around you?”

            Romano glares behind his shades that he forgot to take off. “Do whatever you want, idiot.”

            Snickering, Alfred moves around and claims the spot on the Italian’s right while Gilbert and Matthias, the Dane that’s become their third pranking member, go on the other side of him. Arthur gives Romano a look and rolls his eyes, plopping down on the seat to the left of Romano. He’s blushing badly, saying to himself that of course he’d see people he knows on the weekend while in this ridiculous get up. Hopefully they won’t notice he’s spying on his brother’s date.

            “There he is,” Gilbert points to one of the four up front, “with his date. Boy, he was super nervous about this.”

            “You know, if he marries Feli, you and Lovino will be brother-in-laws.” Alfred grins at the shorter man beside him just to jab at him. Everyone knows that Romano doesn’t like Ludwig at all.

            “Like hell I’d let that happen,” Romano states with a glare.

            “What’s the deal with you and my brother?” Gilbert scowls at him. “He’s never done a damn thing towards you. This grudge you have is so un-awesome, Lovino. It makes no sense.”

            Romano doesn’t bother to answer, eyes staying forward as he glares at the head of the German they’re talking about. He sees the taller man stiffen up as Feliciano grabs hold of his arm and hide his face from the scary scene on screen. Right as that happens, he notices Alfred trembling beside him and glances to see the American pale as a sheet of paper. A grin slowly appears on his face.

            “Can’t handle horror films, Alfred?” He changes topic easily, ignoring the stern glare from Gilbert.

            “What?” The American laughs as quietly as he can, waving Romano off. “Don’t be silly. These kinds of films are too silly to be scared of them. I don’t get nightmares or anything. Nope. Don’t even wet the bed.” He continues shaking his head, eyes betraying him as he continues to deny his fear of horror stories.

            Arthur leans over to Romano’s ear and whispers, “He’s a sodding liar. Don’t let him fool you.”

            Romano snorts, withholding a laugh as he covers his mouth. He focuses back on the movie, sharing his popcorn with Arthur since the other three aren’t. He jumps a few times at well-timed jump scares, trying so hard not to laugh at Alfred squealing like a frightened girl, and whispers a few comments to Arthur about how stupid the movie is.

            “If you think it’s stupid, why are you here?” Arthur whispers in question. “I’m here because that bloody idiot forced me along.” He motions to his quivering cousin who’s gripping the armrests of the chairs tight, white knuckled and still pale. “What made you come here and wear such an interesting attire?”

            The grin on Arthur faces causes Romano to scowl. “I’m here because I want to be, ass-hole.”

            “Gilbert’s here to spy on his brother and make sure his first date goes okay,” Arthur states, immediately knowing why the Italian is here.

            Romano stares at him, sighing as he focuses on the four up front. “I’m worried about my brother,” he admits.

            “Why? He seems happy.” Arthur waits for an answer but Romano won’t give him one. He glances over at the other three and back to Romano, leaning close with a suggestion. “Would you like to move somewhere else so we can have a private spot?”

            The Italian takes a second before nodding. Once given the go, they stand up and move out of the row to the left side, taking the seats in the way back. Romano still has a good view of his brother so he’s good with those seats but he knows that he’ll have to take his eyes off him again since Arthur’s interested to know what’s really up. He sighs as he feels Arthur’s eyes on him, grateful that the Brit is patient with him. Most others would fidget and pry, not giving him time to breathe and put everything he wants to say in order. It’s a good change.

            “I’m terrified of losing the last family member that’s a life line for me,” he states. “Feliciano is the only relative I have that keeps me latched down and sane. I hate thinking about losing him to someone else even if I know it’s selfish.” His hazel eyes lock with green as he feels comfortable enough to share more things with his growing friend. “Our parents basically shunned me when I was a kid after being rescued from something traumatizing, so he's the only one I can lean on when I need someone.”

            Arthur furrows his eyebrows. “Why would they do that? If you were traumatized by something, you’d need love and support. Not to be shunned.”

            The brown haired man sighs. “It’s because I closed everyone out.” He gazes at his hands, those memories coming forward again like when he told some of this to Antonio. “I became a little shit they couldn’t handle, was mouthy, and made a fit almost every time someone came near me. They just couldn’t take it anymore, so they favored Veneziano and left me in the shadows to just rot.” He hums, curling his fingers against his palm so he can stare at his fingernails. “Mio nonno took me away when he saw what was happening. Lived with him from the age of nine right up until he died.”

            The Brit stays silent as Romano pauses, processing this. “What is your grandfather to you, Lovino?”

            At the sound of his middle name, he winces a little, feeling odd as he kind of wants Arthur to call him Romano instead of Lovino. He doesn’t say anything about it, though, as he thinks about his answer. “He was my fucking life line in this world. He’s my savior, my guardian angel. Hell, the bastard still follows me around as a stupid starling.” He smiles a little with a chuckle. “That man was my world as a kid. I…” he trails off, eyes clouding over as dark memories from when he was away from his family come forward. “I wouldn’t be alive and here right now if he hadn’t come to save me.”

            Knowing that there’s something more there, something the Italian keeps beating around the bush, Arthur leans up and makes eye contact with Lovino. “What happened to you?”

            The words are right there on his tongue. Ready to spill out so someone else can know what happened to him as a kid. How he disappeared, was kidnapped at the age of nine and gone for far too long. How he suffered, fought, screamed, and cried. How he nearly lost all hope of ever seeing the light of day again until Romulus Vargas blew in and saved him. He was saved but he has so many scars from that time. Some visible, most of them mental.

            He swallows down the words and shakes his head. “I’m not ready to share that with anyone outside of the family.”

            Arthur nods slowly. “Okay. Well, whenever you’re ready, I’m willing to listen.”

            Romano smiles wryly, kind of grateful that he’s friends with Arthur now. “Thanks. Ass-hole.”

            The ash-blond rolls his eyes with a grin. “Prick.”

            When the conversation ends, they sit back and watch the movie, picking it apart. It takes a while longer before he notices that Feliciano is basically all over Ludwig and he blows his cover. He tosses his bucket of popcorn at the two, hitting Ludwig right in the head easily – which surprises Arthur since he threw it from a lot of rows up. Before he can be spotted, he runs away, Arthur deciding to tail after him. Once they’re outside, Arthur laughs at the sheer stupidity that whole scene was, Romano soon joining him after a glare is sent his way.

            For the rest of the day, Romano tries not to panic so much about his brother growing distant while spending more time with Arthur. He’s really glad that he’s met the stubborn ass-hole who understands him more than others do. Maybe he can really trust the guy and share with him everything that happened to him. First, he’d like to learn a little more about his British friend. He doesn’t know that much besides a few facts and it isn’t fair. Next time he’ll be the one with questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romano has a nightmare and spends most of the morning on a chat site with his friends to calm down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Implications of rape/non-con in the beginning of this chapter.

            _“Come on, boy, get up!”_

_A voice shouts at Romano. The young child quivers in fear, eyes dilated as he tries to scoot away. The owner of the voice growls and pulls him back, dirty hands resting against the child’s skin only to grip his arm hard. He wails quietly, knowing for sure he’ll bruise easily from that. This isn’t really anything new but he wishes for it to stop. Feliciano doesn’t know about this, about how their father treats him. He wants it to stay that way._

_“Per favore, padre,” he squeaks out, “stop. You’ll wake up mama and Veneziano.”_

_“I wouldn’t have to shout if you would just listen,” his father hisses quietly. “We need to go now before they do wake up. Otherwise they’ll find out about our secret. You don’t want that, do you?” The same hazel eyes glare at Romano, emotions the child doesn’t understand completely swirling through them._

_The child wishes that he had no characteristics from his father. If he could, he would gouge his eyes out. He hates his father. He doesn’t know why he’s been targeted by him. Romano’s only seven going on eight next month, same day but different time as his brother turning six. Neither of them would really understand what adults do. They’re honest and blunt as children mostly are, but ever since Romano turned seven, things changed._

_Romano let his father drag him from his shared room with Feliciano. The two headed down to the basement and through a secret pathway towards a room the younger Italian wishes he never knew about. Why his father had it down here in the first place, he didn’t know. He wonders if his mother even knows, but since it’s a secret that they go down there, most likely not._

_“You’ll be a good boy like all the other times, si?” His father asks softly, calmer now that they’re where he wants them to be. The grip on Romano’s arm loosens as well as he kneels down and locks eyes with his child. “If you be a good boy, you won’t get hurt.” He brings up Romano’s arm and kisses where he gripped him hard. “You’ll have to wear long sleeves for a while if that bruises.”_

_The child nods in understanding, trying not to cringe away from the kiss. His stomach turns as it usually does when he thinks of what’s going to happen. “I-I’ll be a good boy,” he whispers. This is why he wishes to live with his nonno but he doesn’t want to subject Feli to this treatment. If it isn’t Romano, it will most surely be Feliciano to experience this. This is all to protect his brother. “I’ll be good,” he repeats._

_“Good.” The man stands up and lightly pushes the boy towards the only comfortable resting place in the room. “Now, go get ready.”_

_“Si, padre…” Little Romano trails off as he goes over to the bed, clenching his eyes shut as he listens to his father rustle with his clothes. The small Italian takes his shaky hands and does the same, holding back the tears that threaten to fall every time this happens._

Someone please take me away from this place, _Romano thinks, stomach lurching as he feels his father’s fingers slide up his back._ Anyone. Get me out of here. I don’t like this home. Please. _He lies back, opening his eyes a sliver just to see the figure of his father hover over him. He wants to cry._ Grandpa Rome, please…save me.

**Possessively Scary**

            Romano jerks awake as he falls off his bed with a hard _thud_. He’s panting, trying to figure out what happened before sitting up with a groan. He rubs his head, glancing over at his brother’s bed to see if he woke Feliciano up accidentally. When he sees his little brother sleeping soundly, he sighs in relief.

            Shaking his head, he wonders why that memory popped up as a nightmare. It’s hell of a time for it to crop up. Then again, with him nearly spilling everything to two different people over the month and a half that’s gone by, it really isn’t such a surprise. Of course those memories would come back from the darkest pit he’s tried to shove them in. He shivers, knowing he won’t be going back to sleep for a long while. So he gets up and turns his computer on, setting the brightness to the lowest level so as not to bother his brother.

            He blinks a few times for his eyes to adjust before moving his cursor over to the downloaded chat program he uses. He searches through the usernames to see who’s on and smirks a little, not surprised when he sees a few of his idiot friends online. He double clicks on a dropdown to create a group chat for them all and invites them.

**[02:38] ST: I can’t believe you losers are still up at this fucking time of the morning.**

            It doesn’t take long for them to answer him back. He kind of regrets doing this since he most likely will spend the rest of the morning messaging these fools. Guess he’ll just have to deal with sleep deprivation.

**[02:39] BG: I’ll have you know that I’m grading papers for class and doing my own homework.**

**[02:29] BG: It’s very taxing and time consuming.**

**[02:39] BG: You trying being both a student and professor for a semester.**

**[02:41] ST: No thanks. I’m good with being just a plain old student.**

**[02:42] HL: dud35 y0u 5#0uldn’7 83 w0rk1n9 7#15 l8**

**[02:43] ST: ???**

**[02:43] ST: The fuck Alfred, take your quirk off. It’s annoying as hell.**

**[02:44] BG: Not to mention the fact that not everyone knows what those symbols and numbers stand for as letters.**

**[02:44] PB: U un-awesome losers just don’t understand our brains**

**[02:45] HL: sorry fixed it for now**

**[02:45] HL: was just saying you guys shouldn’t be working this late**

**[02:46] HL: it’s not healthy to get little sleep**

**[02:46] ST: Says the idiot who probably stays up this late playing games or watching horror movies.**

**[02:47] BG: Alfred, if you are watching horror movies this late at night, I swear I will bar my room off.**

**[02:47] BG: I am not letting you in my room just because you’ll have nightmares when you sleep.**

**[02:47] HL: I don’t get nightmares!**

**[02:48] PB: Al you should just give it up**

**[02:48] PB: even I know you get nightmares**

**[02:48] PB: I still have pictures of the night you slept over and couldn’t let me go**

**[02:48] PB: so not cool man un-awesome**

**[02:49] HL:** **:(**

**[02:49] HL: u guys suck**

**[02:50] BG: We care about you Alfred, we just have our own lives and problems to focus on. There’s no time for us to babysit you when you’ve just seen a horror movie that we’ve told you not to watch an hour prior.**

**[02:51] HL: how was I supposed to know that it would end up being a horror story??? The first version wasn’t a horror story it was an interesting thriller with suspense this new version of it just made it plain horror I don’t like it**

**[02:51] PB: u talkin about Flatliners? That was an awesome movie!!! At least the original was awesome the new one was okay**

**[02:52] ST: You guys are so stupid.**

            Romano doesn’t mind just letting them all hash it out. He’ll make his comments here and there but he prefers watching the chaos go on its own. His chat screen blinks when Arthur creates a separate chat for the two of them to talk while also keeping track of the other chat with the idiots. He reads what the British Gentleman says before replying.

**[02:53] BG: So why are you up this late? Usually you’re asleep until 8 or 8:30.**

**[02:54] ST: Thanks for memorizing my sleep patterns, jerk. :P**

**[02:54] ST: Had a nightmare. It’s no big deal.**

**[02:55] BG: You sure? It’s not bothering you at all?**

**[02:59] ST: Not really.**

**[03:00] BG: :/**

**[03:00] BG: It took you four minutes to answer.**

**[03:01] BG: Obviously it’s bothering you.**

**[03:03] ST: -sighs-**

**[03:03] ST: I don’t want to talk about it.**

**[03:04] BG: That’s fine.**

**[03:05] BG: I do worry over you, chap.**

**[03:05] BG: I consider you a good friend.**

**[03:05] BG: I’m here if you want to ever speak about it.**

**[03:07] ST: Thanks.**

            Romano smiles sincerely, happy that he has a friend like Arthur. They talk some more, with the other two idiots and privately as well. When Arthur leaves, Romano is about to log off too. That is until Gilbert mentions something about Antonio being on and adding him. Romano freaks out, not realizing that Antonio also had the same chat system downloaded. He’s about to exit but Antonio joins them and shouts his name before he can do so.

**[05:28] SM: LOVINO!!!**

**[05:28] ST: NOPE**

**[05:29] HL: dude you haven’t changed your username yet?**

**[05:30] PB: don’t change it it’s awesome**

**[05:31] ST: You guys are pervs. I’m out.**

            The Italian leaves the chat but makes sure to save Antonio’s username in his list. He denies every reason why he’s doing so and decides he’s been up long enough. Maybe now he can sleep. Maybe he really should talk to someone about all the shit that’s happened. Lord only knows what good it will do to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.
> 
> For anyone wondering what the abbreviations stand for:  
> ST - Scrumptious Tomato  
> BG - British Gent  
> HL - Hamburger Lover  
> PB - Prussian Blood  
> SM - Sexy Matador


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romano and Feliciano have a heart-to-heart, opening up to each other a little bit more about their past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far this chapter is the longest one I've written for this story. I don't make a habit of keep the page amount the same anymore, I cut the chapter off where I feel it should now, so that's why this one is a bit longer. It's a real sensitive one as it's important. It's a bonding chapter for the brothers. Just bear with me. This fic is supposed to have it's up and downs, it's light moments and it's dark moments. I mean, if you've read this far, you already know about that and signed up for it. Especially if any of you know/read Killing Stalking, which this is a very VERY mild version of. Be prepared for the feels and heart strings to be pulled once more.

            It isn’t until three days after the double date that Feliciano comes up to Romano in a huff and demands that they talk. Not asks, not request, but demands. Feliciano doesn’t demand anything unless it’s a serious issue that needs to be talked about, which in all retrospect, it is. Romano will not be stubborn. He admits it really is crucial that they talk about this problem that’s been forming between them over the month and a half.

            So when the two of them are in their dorm room together, sitting at their desks and facing each other, they wait. Wait for one or the other to start talking. For once, Feliciano looks like Romano: pouting with a small scowl, arms crossed, legs also crossed. He really is upset about this. Romano on the other hand doesn’t have his legs crossed. His feet are flat against the floor, elbows resting on his knees with his hands clasped together, head down as he stares at the floor. He’s not ready yet. He needs to formulate what he should say so Feliciano knows his turmoil. Knows how terrified he is. Knows that he can’t lose Feliciano.

            When several minutes pass and neither of them have uttered a word, Feliciano sighs. “Fratello,” he softly starts, waiting for Romano to look up. The other doesn’t look up so he resorts to the only thing that will gain his brother’s full attention. “Romano.”

            The elder Italian flinches at his first name, uncomfortable with hearing it. The low beat of his name flowing off Feliciano’s higher pitched voice reminds him too much of their father. Reminds him of those times he wants to forget again. Reminds him of those terrible nights when his name was gasped out of that disgusting mouth that probably still kisses their mother’s lips. He shakes his head, banishing those thoughts from the front once more as he finally looks up. They lock eyes but Romano doesn’t reply. He’s ready for the onslaught of accusations.

            Feliciano frowns at the pathetic, sad form his brother slouches into. He sighs again, closing his eyes so as not to see it. “Romano, we really need to talk about this.” He opens his eyes but stares at the ceiling. “We need to talk about why you dislike Ludwig. Why you don’t want me with him.” He locks eyes with Romano again only to see the other glance down again. He puffs his cheeks out in annoyance. “I’ve heard from Gilbert that you were also spying on me during my first date with Ludwig. You were the one who threw the bucket of popcorn at his head, weren’t you?”

            Romano chuckles a little at the memory. “Shame I didn’t get to see his bewildered face.”

            “Romano!” There’s a pain in his heart as Romano admits to it. Feliciano tries to stay angry at his brother from this fact, but seeing his strong brother flinch at just his first name makes his anger wither away. “Romano, you need to apologize.”

            “I am _not_ apologizing to that bastard.”

            “Then I won’t talk to you until you do.”

            “Fine. Then we won’t get into the reason why I did it.” Romano’s eyes now show the fire Feliciano held moments ago as he gazes up. “We’ll just drop this, letting this create a bigger fissure between us.”

            “You’re the one that’s creating the gap between us, fratello,” Feliciano whispers. He uncrosses his arms, losing his anger all too quickly. He just can’t stay angry at Romano when he _knows_ that Romano has had it rough. There are so many reasons why Romano is like this. Reasons he has yet to even find out. “It’s you that should be coming to me and telling me what’s wrong. But we both know you hold yourself up too high, too full of pride that you’ve built up as an excuse to not share anything, to not tell me the truth.” A few tears prick at Feliciano’s eyes. “You used to tell me everything. Now you just shoulder it for yourself to suffer.” He rolls his chair over so he can clasp his own hands around Romano’s. Their eyes never break during the movement. “Share some of the suffering with me, fratello.”

            He almost does. He feels it on his tongue again, all the facts and horrible tales that happened to him. All his suffering. But he holds it back, shaking his head as he looks down and pulls his hands out of his brother's. “I can’t, Feli. I just can’t. I’m not ready for you to know what happened, why I’m like this.”

            “Then when _will_ you tell me?” Feliciano sniffs, hurt that he doesn’t feel trusted anymore. That his brother doesn’t believe he can help him. “I won’t be here for you all the time, fratello. I’ll be living my own life soon. I’ll have a relationship, maybe even a family in the future. I can’t always be waiting for you and stall my life, my happiness just for you.”

            Hearing those words hurt more than Romano can say. He blinks away his own tears that threaten to fall. “Then don’t wait. It’s not like you’re the only family that anchor’s me in this fucking world or anything.” He stands up, pushing back his chair in the process that hits the desk with a soft tick. “It’s not like I’m terrified of losing my only life line!”

            Feliciano stands up, eyes widening as he realizes what’s wrong immediately. “I’ll always be here, fratello! I just have my own life to live, too!”

            “And who do you have to thank for that fucking life full of positivity?! Huh?!” Romano glares, tears slipping down his cheeks. “Your life is just all fine and dandy because of me! You didn’t have to live a tortuous, shitty childhood!”

            “You don’t know that!” Feliciano cries. “You don’t know what I went through when nonno took you! You don’t know anything!”

            “What the hell are you talking about?” Romano calms down a little, growling at all the kinds of things that could have happened. “Did our father touch you?” He takes Feliciano’s arms in his hands. “Did his friends touch you?” His anger, now somewhere else, breaks into two lanes: one lane towards their father once more and the other to himself. Of fucking course something happened to Feli that he didn’t know about. “I’ll fucking murder that bastard if he did. He swore… He swore!”

            “What? No!” Feli shakes his head, confused before he also calms down, thinking about that. He watches Romano let him go as his hazel eyes grow cloudy, not fully there anymore. This frightens the younger Italian, his own thoughts running every which way until they run into one of the only valid reasons why Romano asked that. “Did… Did _they_ touch _you_?”

            Romano’s nostrils flare as his eyes dilate. He doesn’t want to answer. He’s leaked out too much already. Feliciano shouldn’t know what their father is truly like. How much of a cheating bastard he is. His breathing increases as he looks away, shaking his head because he won’t tell his brother to truth.

            Feliciano doesn’t need to hear it to see that he’s hit a real sore spot, that he’s finally hooked into some of the truth. “Fratello…”

            “If not, then what happened?” Romano deflects the conversation back to Feli. He glances back, still on edge and frazzled. “What happened to you when I was gone?”

            The younger brother frowns, sniffing as his tears continue falling. He wipes them away, opening his mouth up to answer. “Mama and padre fought a lot. They didn’t understand why nonno took you, why nonno said the things he said.”

            This confuses Romano. He only remembers their grandfather telling him to pack up his things and go to the truck. He didn’t know if the man spoke to anyone else or not. Did Feliciano hear something he didn’t? “What did he say?”

            Feli sniffs again, looking up for a moment only to stare at Romano’s feet. “He said that he knew what our father was doing, that he should be disgusted with himself. Mama didn’t understand, telling nonno that he was just blaming the innocent. Nonno… I’ve never seen him so disappointed in Mama.” He rubs his eyes, choosing to sit down again because he’s not sure how long he would be able to stand. “He told Mama what our father does. She didn’t believe him, accused him of just blaming padre ‘cause he never liked him.”

            If Feliciano heard that then he should know. Romano’s heart goes into his throat as he panics over that. Feliciano might know. Feliciano _knows._ “…did you hear what he accused padre of?”

            Veneziano glances up with his eyes, not moving his head. He nods. “Si… I heard.”

            Romano’s breathing turns labored as he shakes his head. No, Feliciano wasn’t supposed to know. He backs away, legs hitting his chair and making him fall to the floor. He crawls backwards until he hits the wall, shaking his head. “No, you weren’t supposed to know.” His hazel eyes flick around, not focusing on Feliciano. “You weren’t supposed to know about any of that.”

            “Romano-.”

            “DON’T CALL ME BY THAT FUCKING NAME!” He shouts, hands going into his hair. He pulls his strands so his skin arches up until some of the hairs just pull right out. He moves his hands over his ears to block out most of the sounds in their room. “Don’t call me by that name. I hate that name. That name… He ruined it. He just… He ruined me.”

            “Papa, you mean?” Feliciano crawls out of his chair and over to his brother, wanting to comfort Romano. He reaches out for his brother only to stop when Romano cowers away. It hurts to see his brother like this. More tears fall from his eyes. “Lovi?”

            “That man… That man is _not_ my father.” Tears pour out of Romano’s eyes as well. He soon finds it hard to speak as he hyperventilates. “Not…my father…” He repeats between breathes.

            Feliciano doesn’t know what to do as Romano goes through the attack. He just sits there, watching Romano tremble in fear. He wishes their nonno was there because the man knew how to handle this better than he could. Feli sniffs, forcing back the tears since he needs to be the strong one now. He needs to be that life line Romano says he is. So even though he wants to hug Romano, he leaves him with the space the other needs.

            “Lovino,” he softly calls his brother’s name, knowing that Romano will listen even if he doesn’t turn to him. “I wanted to leave with you and nonno when that happened. When I heard everything. I wanted to be with my brother, my big strong brother who went through hell.” He sniffs, rubbing his eyes some more as the annoying tears keep pricking at them. “But Mama didn’t want me to leave. She wanted me to stay. I… I wasn’t happy there. We made it look like we were a happy family, but it just fell apart.” He glances up again to watch Romano. He wants his brother to know what he never shared before. “Mama fought with Papa a lot. She found him sneaking around with other people, doing the things that she didn’t believe he was doing. She fought with him but then just…stopped. She would let him do whatever, playing innocent. I… I couldn’t stand it.”

            “…that’s why you came to us when you could,” Romano whispers after he has enough control of his breathing to do so. He’s still shaking but is calming down. He gazes over at his brother, face tear stained just as much as his brother’s. “I didn’t know.”

            “Just like how I don’t know everything about what happened to you.” Feliciano sniffs, inching forward a little, an unspoken question of permission to get closer.

            Romano raises one of his arms, gesturing for Feliciano to come over. The other instantly squeezes himself in between Romano’s arms, nuzzling himself against Romano’s chest. Romano lays his arm over Feli’s back, rubbing circles on it for both their comfort.

            “I’m not ready for you to know the whole truth, Feli,” he whispers. “I mean, I just had a panic attack over the fact that you knew all this time what that man did to me.” He laughs hollowly. “I’m not ready to get any of it off my chest.”

            “Okay,” Feli says quietly as he cuddles further with his brother. “Okay.”

            “And I know you won’t be here for me forever,” Romano states as he moves his hand from Feli’s back to his head, petting the coppery hair. “I know that but I just… I want to have you for as long as I can before we go our separate ways.”

            “And me dating Ludwig puts a dent into things?”

            Romano sighs. “Yeah, it does.” He hums, silent for a moment before continuing on. “I can understand that he’s a good guy, that he’d be great for you to be with. Trust me, everyone’s been on his side this whole time, not understanding why I don’t like him.” He hugs Feli closer, almost making the two meld together if he were able to. He doesn’t ever want to let Feliciano go. “I don’t like him because he’s taking you away from me when I’m not ready to let you go.”

            Feli slowly registers that in his mind. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, realizing something. “I was also causing the gap between us.” He nuzzles his brother’s neck before looking up at him. “I’m sorry. I should be spending time with you, too, not just the guy I like and my friends.”

            A laugh escapes Romano’s chest. “Idiot,” he whispers while pressing a kiss to his brother’s forehead. “We spend majority of our time together in this room.”

            “But not just us outside of this room.” He sits up, a serious glint in his eyes. “Let’s plan the rest of this week out together. Just us two.”

            Romano smiles a little fondly at his little brother. “Why don’t you set it all up? I’ll be fine with whatever.”

            “No, you should add some things in there, too.” Feli pouts. “What would you like to do?”

            The elder brother thinks for a moment. “It…would be nice if we went to the local zoo. I heard about a bird aviary finally opening a few weeks ago.”

            Feliciano smiles wide. “Okay! We’ll do that then! And plenty of other stuff, too!”

            Romano keeps smiling, letting himself get over the roller coaster ride he just went through with his emotions and mentality. He sighs, listening to Feliciano plan things out as he gets up and grabs his chair again to sit in. Romano slowly gets up and sits in his chair as well, nodding along with the ideas, adding in a few things as well as cutting some things out he knows he won’t like doing.

            So the two spend the rest of the night doing this, one of the best nights since they started college. That gap feels like there’s a bridge being built between it. He hopes they continue to do this because he doesn’t want to lose his brother over something stupid. Maybe he really should open up about his problems more, and talk about his past. Maybe he should find someone to vent to. He wouldn’t want to see a counselor about this. It’d be too embarrassing and awkward for him. He needs to tell someone he trusts, a friend he knows has an open mind.

            There’s only one person who comes to mind when thinking about it. Now he just needs to build the courage up to tell him. Hopefully they’ll have time together to do so. If not, he’ll just make time. They’ve done so before for important things. They can do it again for this. Anyway, that person keeps telling him that he’s there to listen when he’s ready. He’s slowly starting to believe that he’s ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feli and Romano go to the zoo.

            Unfortunately Romano wasn’t able to flag down Arthur. The rest of the second month was flying by into the third month, mid-terms being prepped and papers being written. Arthur was busy due to this, being both a student and professor. Romano didn’t want to bother Arthur with his woes quite yet until after Thanksgiving break. So he spent some of his time with the annoying group he calls friends. He even willingly spent more time with Antonio, learning more about the guy and having his heart swell each time the Spaniard showed a great quality Romano wants in a significant other. He keeps telling himself not to get too carried away or hopeful, though. No one likes getting their hopes up so high only to fall flat on their face after their balloon pops because of reality.

            Over the rest of the second month, him and his brother were able to go to the zoo as promised. They were both excited and acted like little kids going for the first time. It might as well have been since they rarely went as children. Their parents took them places for face value majority of the time. The only family thing that Romano can say they actually went to for fun was Disney. Both different parks. That’s a good memory from before he turned seven that he’ll never forget. Especially since Feliciano threw up on their father then. Bastard deserves it.

            The bird aviary was Romano’s favorite part. He brought a sketchpad with him and doodled as many birds as he could. His brother has more of the artist talent for drawings and painting but he tries his best. Sometimes his best comes out really well. If his drawing was utter shit, Feliciano would share his with Romano, causing his elder brother to grin happily and flush with excitement. It’s not the usual kind of bird watching his nonno taught him but he’s surrounded by the one creature he admires most. The animal that can fly away and be free from the gravitational pull towards land whenever they please. He really loves birds.

            They both sit on benches in the aviary, drawing to their hearts content. Neither have a care in the world if they stay there for majority of the time at the zoo. Feliciano enjoys seeing his elder brother so happy and Romano prefers to be among the beautiful creatures that won’t judge him.

            As they stay longer, they make conversation with the workers in charge of the aviary. One is a beautiful Belgian woman who chats away with Feliciano and a silent tall man who snorts at Romano’s crappy drawings. The elder Italian glares every time the man snorts, knowing just what he’s thinking.

            “If you’ve got something to say, say it.” He has enough of the silent guy judging him, wanting it to get over already.

            Tim, as the name tag states, glances down at him before gazing at his sketchpad. He points to a specific spot in the drawing. “This arch is wrong. It needs to be slightly longer.”

            Romano raises an eyebrow and looks at his drawing before comparing it with the bird he’s drawing. Humming, he fixes his mistake. “Is that what you’re snorting at? My mistakes.”

            “Hn.” The guy neither denies or admits it.

            “Are you even an artist?”

            “Are you?”

            “In the kitchen, maybe, but not for drawing.”

            “Then why bother? Just take pictures of them with your phone.”

            “Tim, stop harassing him,” the woman, Emma, pouts at the other. “Let him draw if he wants.”

            “You know, fratello, we probably should have photographic comparisons for future drawings.” Feliciano smiles at Romano. “Don’t you have a camera back at the dorms?”

            Romano grumbles. “No. I don’t own any fancy cameras.”

            “We should get you one! So you can fill your bird journal with evidence of seeing them once in your life.” The younger Italian’s energy radiates off of his body.

            The elder Italian rolls his eyes, but he admits that it’s a good idea. Their grandfather once said something about having a camera, but so much was going on that they never got one. “Whatever. Like I can stop you from getting me anything.”

            The four continue talking, Feli drawing on the side as he’s better at multi-tasking like this than Romano. Romano scowls with annoyance at Tim when the man makes an off-handed comment and Emma tries to smooth things between them. All in all, they get along pretty well. Soon enough the workers are called away to answer questions and help those who wish to hold the birds carefully. When left on their own, Feliciano smirks at Romano and hums a tune. Romano gives him the stink eye before rolling his eyes and nearly shoving the other off the bench, hiding a smirk of his own.

            It isn’t until another hour passes that Romano feels his phone vibrate. He sets his pad down and takes out his phone, seeing who texted him today. Making a disgusted face, he opts to put his phone away and not reply. His heart betrays him as it beats fast, though. He always gets secretly excited when Antonio texts him or comes over to talk with him. Who wouldn’t get excited when their crush is giving them attention? Romano just likes to play hard to get, even if he’s sitting there screaming at Antonio in his head to just ask him out already. It’ll happen. He knows it will. He’s just becoming slightly impatient. Until he realizes what he’s admitting and becomes stubborn again, denying all kind of feelings for the Spaniard.

            Why must he torture himself in his mind when he knows that he’s crushing hard on someone but doesn’t want to really admit it though it’s obvious he already has in a way? He will never understand himself when it comes to love.

            His phone vibrates again, this time for a phone call. He raises an eyebrow, wondering who the heck would actually call him. The only person who does is sitting next to him. Then again, Romano does know another person does but very rarely. He quickly grabs his phone on the third vibration and sees “Tomato Bastard” under a picture he snapped a while ago of the Spaniard. He swipes to the right to answer the call, putting the phone to his ear.

            “What do you want?” He grounds out with slight irritation, it all being a farce as he really feels himself internally giddy like a fucking school girl. But no one would know because he instantly crushes that feeling and throws it off a metaphorical cliff.

            “Hi, Lovi! I just wanted to ask what you’re doing today.” Antonio’s happy voice rings through the receiver, and Romano has all he can do not to flush, wishing for only a small second to really hear the Spaniard’s voice next to his ear. Feeling his breath against his cheek. “But I think I already know since I see you.”

            Snapping out of his small daydream, Romano blinks. “Wait, what?” He looks around. “How the hell can you see me? Where the fuck are you?” He whispers so not to disturb the parents and kids around in the aviary.

            “I can see you because I’m just about to enter the bird aviary.” Antonio enters the aviary just as Romano glances over, waving. “I decided to visit my cousins today. Who’d think that we’d be here at the same time?”

            “Apparently some bitches by the name of Fate, Destiny, and Life,” Romano mumbles, hanging up his phone since the Spaniard is there and coming over to him. “Veneziano, I’m sorry.”

            Feli’s eyebrows rise at the sudden apology, focusing on his brother after finishing a shade in for his drawing. “For what?” When he notices Antonio coming over to them after Romano points in the direction, he smiles a little sadly. “Oh, it’s okay. I’ll just pack up and go to another bird.” He nods, closing his pad and grabbing his satchel of art tools before standing up and leaving. He waves to the Spaniard and situates himself on a bench far enough for the other two to have a moment.

            Romano wishes he wasn’t just abandoned by his brother but also thanks him a little at the same time. He glares at the tanned man taking his brother’s spot. “You know, today was supposed to be a day for me and my fratello.”

            “Oh! I’m sorry,” Antonio apologizes, smiling sheepishly as he chuckles a little. “I won’t hold you for long then. I just wanted to see how you’re doing since the last we met up for lunch.”

            With a sigh, the elder Italian shakes his head, thinking over the stuff that’s been going on recently that he hasn’t told Antonio yet. “I’m peachy,” he states with little sincerity.

            “I bet. I mean, we’re in an aviary.” Antonio smiles wider, gazing at the birds flitting around them. “You like birds, right? You mentioned something about birds before.”

            Romano shrugs. “Yeah, kind of. They’re okay.” He mentally screams at himself for being like this to his crush, so distant yet replying anyway.

            “They are beautiful creatures, no?” The green eyed man hums, glancing down at the pad resting on Romano’s lap. “Hey, you’re pretty good!”

            Raising an eyebrow, the olive toned man rolls his eyes. “If you call these crappy sketches good then you have poor eyesight.”

            “I’m serious! You have some talent.”

            “Veneziano is the artist. I’m the culinary genius.”

            “I still think that you have talent.” Antonio chuckles, gazing at his cousins. “So, would you like to eat lunch tomorrow or the day after with me?”

            “The day after,” he answers, not wanting to seem eager for being with him. He hears Antonio hum in reply and he thinks about why the guy is here. “So, who are your cousins?”

            “Tim and Emma.” Toni points and waves as Emma spots him. “They’re distant cousins who live locally. My other family went back to Spain and Portugal after a few years. I lived with them and their mother for a while before I went on my own.” He stands up and smiles at Romano. “I’ll see you later, si?”

            “Sure.” The Italian gives a noncommittal shrug and waves as Antonio goes over to his cousins. It doesn’t take long for Feliciano to come back over with a big grin on his face. “Nothing special happened. Don’t get carried away.” Romano glares before sketching again on his pad.

            “The two of you have gotten really close lately,” Feliciano states, opening up to a page for him to show Romano what he drew. “I hope the two of you stay close or become a lot closer as the days go by.”

            Romano flushes at the words only to turn redder as he sees his brother’s sketch. “Knock it off. Nothing’s going to happen.” He shoves his brother lightly, scowling with a small pout. “Why’d you draw us? We’re not all that interesting.”

           “On the contrary, fratello. The both of you are _very_ interesting when placed next to each other. Especially when you get extra stubborn and blush easily.” Feliciano giggles, avoiding his brother’s next attempt of pushing him off the bench. “Would you like to see the giraffes next?”

            “Anything to get me out of here and away from that bastard.” Romano shuts his sketchpad and packs up, heading out of the area with his brother right behind him.

            Before exiting the aviary, he peers over his shoulder to stare at the smiling Spaniard. When he sees Antonio laughing with Emma only to be hit on his head by Tim, he smiles a little and goes on out. He then remembers the text he received from Antonio earlier and decides to check it now as Feliciano drags him towards the giraffes. Opening it up, he blushes at the picture Antonio sent. It was of himself leaning over his pad as he draws, so focused. The lighting in the aviary makes his olive skin shine and there is the faintest smile on his lips. He wonders when the hell Toni took it and how he got this angled shot outside of the aviary before glancing at the text under it.

            _“I spy with my little eye, a very handsome European Goldfinch. Such a colorful beauty. You think I’ll be able to catch it one day? ;)”_

            With his heart beating fast at the implication, Romano rolls his eyes with a sincere smile. He replies quickly before his brother fully takes his attention away, chuckling lowly before having to defend himself against his brother’s accusations.

            _“Only when your dreams turn into reality, which is highly unlikely. So keep dreaming, idiot. >:P”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.
> 
> Also, if any of you have read my stories from fanficiton.net, you'd catch a title drop of one of my Spamano fics there. Dreams Turn Into Reality. I felt it was fitting enough to do so. Ah, the things I do for fun. References. BDc


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romano gets angry from the recent prank and goes to cool off. Only he isn't given much time to cool off. So he thinks.

            Feliciano giggles as his brother glowers at their bedroom wall. He tries to hold them in, hand covering his mouth, but it’s futile. He bursts, laughing as he holds his stomach and points at Romano. The elder Italian turns his glare onto his brother, cheeks tinged red from embarrassment.

            “It’s not funny,” Romano growls.

            “It so is funny!” Feli is unable to hold himself up on his legs and collapses on his bed, turning to his side. “I can’t believe you fell for that prank.”

            Romano grumbles, arms tightly crossed over his chest. “How was I supposed to know Alfred had switched my shampoo with hair dye?”

            “You look like a golden nugget with earth tones!” Feli says between laughs.

            Sighing, the elder brother closes his eyes and counts to ten for the fourth time. “Feli, how did he get in our room to do that in the first place?”

            “He didn’t,” Feli starts as he sits up, laughs lowering to giggle spurts, “I gave him an empty shampoo bottle for him to fill up.”

            Romano’s eyebrow twitches. “So you helped him do this to me?” His hazel eyes glow with a fire that brings out the amber in his irises. It matches his hair that is now a dark golden hue of blond. “Do you realize what you’ve done to my hair?”

            “Oh chill, fratello.” Feli smiles cutely at him. “It’s not permanent. It’ll only come out once your hair grows longer.” The smile turns into a grin.

            This is where Romano loses his cool. “That’s going to take months! I’m just supposed to deal with this?” He pulls at his hair and points before flailing in irritation. “Those friends of yours are not good influences! We shouldn’t have come to college!” He fumes, storming to his desk to grab his jacket and a baseball cap he got a while ago from Gilbert as another prank. It reads ‘Bases are good but I love balls’ which was obviously a custom made script by the idiotic German. It was a comedic thing that jabs at both Baseball and the fact that Romano is into guys. “I’m going out,” he states as he puts the cap on backwards over his hair. “Don’t text me or call because I will ignore you.”

            “Fratelloooo,” the younger Italian pouts, soon frowning as he gets up and holds his brother’s arm. “I’m sorry. Please don’t leave angry.”

            “Too late, Feli.” He rips his arm out of Feli’s hands. “I need to clear my head.”

            He exits the room after grabbing his wallet containing his ID to get back into the dorm. The jacket hangs by his hip before he puts it on for warmth and puts the wallet in one of the pockets. Stuffing his hand in the pockets of his pants, he takes out his phone and reads the emails and texts messages received over the hour and thirty-seven minutes of him not looking at it. Antonio has sent a few messages about something stupid while Gilbert and Alfred talk back and forth in that group chat the two created for everyone in their little friend group to use. He snorts, rolling his eyes a little as he won’t join any conversations the idiots hold.

            Then Romano sees an email with an all too familiar address tagged to it. He sighs, opening his phone to see what it is this time that he’s done for Arthur to message him. Walking along the hallway and down towards the doors, he exits the dorm building and heads over to the building on campus with the cafeteria, some small shops, the gym, and a big enough lounge for people to sit in if they don’t want to be anywhere else. He reads the message from Arthur while heading in that direction, snorting with a small grin on his face. It was an update of his paper with a grade on it. A grade that’s something to be proud of. Arthur’s comment irritates him but the grade is enough to block out the snarky, playful words.

            Romano is glad to have a student professor friend that understands his stubborn ways. The two easily jab at each other and it's quite fun. They're the best of friends now and he's not embarrassed or that stubborn to deny it.

            Turning his phone off after reading the email through, he stores the device in his jacket pocket. He walks on over to the lounge, opening the door to enter it so he can pick a chair to sit in and cool off. When his eyes spot a person he knows, he scrunches his face up in disgust and turns to leave.

            A gasp sounds behind him and he knows he failed to leave quietly. “Lovino!”

            The Italian stops, shoulders slouching as he silently groans. Turning back around, he glares at the man running to him. “Can it, Antonio, I’m not in the mood to deal with you.”

            Still high on the fact he’s graduated from “Tomato Bastard” to his name, the Spaniard smiles and brushes the threatening glare off. “What’s wrong?” He then notices Romano wearing a cap that is hiding hair that is not brown. "What happened to your hair?"

            Ignoring the latter question, Romano pulls his hat around and down, knowing it won't hide his whole head. “Nothing’s wrong,” Romano bites out, emanating an aura that mostly everyone can feel, expect the stupid man next to him. “I just want to be left alone.”

            “Okay.” Antonio frowns a bit. He thinks quickly as his eyes flick with some irritation as well before it’s covered with a bright smile coming back on his face. “But I’m not going to leave you alone. People say it’s best not to be alone because if you’re alone, you could wind up thinking things that aren’t true.”

            The Italian snorts. “Some other people say that some alone time is good for a person so they can separate themselves from nosy bastards and try to calm down and not stress out.”

            Antonio blinks. “Oh, I don’t think I’ve heard that one before.”

            Romano groans and clenches his eyes shut, counting to ten in Italian again. “You’re such an idiot.” An idiot that he actually likes being around these days but would cut his tongue off before admitting that. “Fine, you can stick around but I’m not staying here.”

            “Okay! We can go to my room and snack on tomatoes if you want.” Antonio grins when Romano perks up at that. “Just let me grab my things before we go there, okay?”

            “Whatever.” He forces down a smile that itches to appear on his face because of his favorite fruit being mentioned. He waits for the other to grab everything before he starts heading back out. “So, why  _do_  you have a mini tomato farm in your room? You never said anything.”

            “Well, you haven’t asked before.” Antonio chuckles as he hoists up his satchel on his shoulder. “It was a gift from mi abuela back in Spain. It’s so I can remember home and can take care of something when I’m alone and doing nothing.”

            Romano hums, staring at the ground in front of them as they walk. “I don’t have anything like that,” he mutters aloud. “If anything, I’m stalked by starlings’ every day.” He rolls his eyes with a small smile as he thinks of his grandfather.

            “Starlings? As in the bird?” Antonio furrows his brows in confusion as he looks at Romano.

            “Yep. Nagging little buggers. Don’t get me started on the time one pecked my head for twelve minutes.” It was because he was falling into one of his pits again but that damned bird distracted and annoyed him enough to make him forget the bad and remember his grandfather. “I might as well have a nest in my hair. Stupid things are attracted to me like I’m a worm to feed on.”

            He sees Antonio shake his head with a small smile of amusement. “Aren’t they one of the most annoying birds that farmers tend to hate? They’re not all that good for nature.”

            “You’re telling me,” the Italian mutters with a snarky remark said to his grandfather in his head. He snorts, smirking. “I just seem to attract annoying pests.”

            Antonio pouts. “Am I an annoying pest?”

            Romano snorts again, glancing up at the taller man with a playful grin. “You the worst kind.”

            The Spaniard huffs but grins right back. “Well then, maybe I should keep the starling magnet away from my tomatoes.”

            “Oi, you promised tomatoes and I am not letting you back out on it.” He glares at the other.

            Antonio laughs. “Okay, okay.” He smiles with a hum. “Just don’t eat all of them, okay? I’m saving some for myself and others.”

            “I’ll try not to.” Romano grins as they approach the dorm building. He suddenly hears some wings fly behind them and he jumps, turning in time to see a hovering bird before it takes off. “Geez, speaking of a starling.”

            The tan man turns and watches the bird fly off. Humming, he realizes that the bird is the same one he’s seen around Romano when watching him from afar. “I see you weren’t kidding.”

            “Told you. Now, I want some tomatoes.” He turns back to the dorm, waiting for Antonio to open the door after scanning his card.

            The two go up to Antonio’s room and spend hours together while munching on tomatoes. The Spaniard slips a compliment in about Romano's hair, saying he shouldn't hide it since it looks good on him. Romano ignores the compliment, denying the fact that he's blushing from said compliment. When he remembers how he left his brother, he sends a quick text to Feli telling him that he’s with Antonio and tomatoes, he’ll be back later. Antonio doesn’t seem to mind and just smiles since he gets time with Romano. The Italian doesn’t admit it but he enjoys himself with the annoying Spaniard. The days have been looking up since he started college, no matter how much he complains about school and work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romano and Arthur have a decent lunch until Antonio interrupts. Future plans are made while everyone feels disgruntled, confused, or unsatisfied.

            “What on Earth happened to your hair?” Arthur asks, eyes wide as he sees his friend with near blond hair.

            “Your cousin,” Romano simply states, munching on a sub he bought for lunch today.

            Arthur sits across from him with his own sandwich, staring at Romano’s hair with slight disgust. “It doesn’t really suit you.”

            “Tell me about it.” He rolls his eyes. “Tell your cousin to fuck off before he finds himself hanging upside down from a lamp post in just his boxers.”

            The Brit snorts, unwrapping his sandwich. “Like he’d listen. Ever since he became friends with the stupid German and obnoxious Dane, his ridiculous behavior has tripled.” He takes a bite of his sandwich, chewing and swallowing before he continues speaking. “That lad’s a bright one when he wants to be but decides to waste his time playing pranks. Wish he were more like his brother.”

            “You know, I never met Matthew.” Romano swallows a bite of his sub. “Does he even go here?”

            “No,” Arthur answers. “He’s abroad in France. He calls now and then but  Alfred misses him. I believe him spending time with the two dolts and doing pranks is a way to fill that missing brotherly gap he has.”

            The Italian snorts, shaking his head as he takes a sip of his Mist Twist soda. “Didn’t think he’d have a brother complex.”

            “It’s a bad thing.” Arthur hums. “He’s too overprotective of Matthew. Thinks that just because the boy is meek and quiet that he has to protect him from everything. I mean, I don’t blame him. They lost their parents at a young age and my mum decided to take them in, so…” he trails off, staring at the table as he remembers the years of being with his cousins. “They’ve had it tough. They’re all they have of their small family. They made it a point to tell us that they’re grateful for our hospitality but would take it amongst themselves to live on their own once of age. They wanted to be together with no one else.”

            Romano listens, thinking how it’s kind of similar for him and his brother. He hums, slowly chewing on another bite of his sub. He swallows before talking. “I guess I can let this prank slip.”

            “My,” Arthur grins, “I believe someone’s growing soft. It’s only half way through the semester.”

            “Shut it, bushy brow.” Romano scowls but grins when Arthur glares at the comment. “That reminds me,” he starts when thinking of how much time has passed, “what’s the midterm going to be like?”

            With a roll of his eyes, Arthur explains, "It was on such short notice that I was going to lead the class this semester. I wanted to get as much in during this semester with the changes that the professor and I both agreed to forgo a Mid-Term. We decided to use those short essays everyone has been writing over the semester so far as the total Mid-Term grade." Arthur hums and takes a bite of his sandwich before he answering the other unasked question. “As for the final, we have compiled a draft we might use when the day comes. Sixty percent is short answers. The other forty is split in half for multiple choice and true or false questions.”

            “Yeesh.” Romano cringes after rolling his eyes at Arthur's excuse for no mid-term. Don't get him wrong, he's happy there isn't any, but it's a chintzy move to use those essays as the Mid-Term grade. Unless other professors do the same thing and he doesn't know. “Why so much writing?”

            “Be grateful I didn’t tag on a short essay.” Arthur grins in response. "We felt like going easy on you all since majority of the semester itself asks for short essays on the readings."

            The Italian shivers at the thought. “Damn essays. I hate writing so much.”

            “Yet you seem to do well anyway no matter how much you complain.”

            “It’s not like I can’t do it, I just don’t want to majority of the time.”

            “Your grandfather would be proud of you doing it in the end and passing,” Arthur states.

            Romano blinks and stares at Arthur, who smiles sincerely at him. He frowns, humming as he looks at his lunch. “I guess,” he mumbles.

            They quietly eat for a few minutes before Arthur pipes up again. “If you want, I can help you get the perfect shade of blond.” Romano gazes at him with a questioning look. “I can find a dye that matches the amber flecks in your hazel eyes. It would make your eyes glow gold more often than green and brown.”

            Rolling his eyes at the compliment between the lines, Romano shakes his head. “You don’t have to.”

            “Then I’ll dye my hair so you’re not the only one.” Arthur grins. “I’ve done it before. It may not look professional, but they can’t stop me from doing what I want.”

            “Do I sense a little bit of a rebel in you, Arthur?” Romano grins back.

            “Maybe.” The Brit laughs. “By next week I’ll have it done, is that okay?”

            “You can do whatever you want, ass-hole.”

            “Then I’ll do just that, you bloody prick.”

            The two laugh, glad that they formed this odd friendship between them. The moment ends all too soon when a third party comes around, though.

            “Lovi!” Antonio smiles bright as he approaches the Italian. He doesn’t even acknowledge the blond. “I didn’t know you’d eat lunch here.”

            Romano blinks up at him. “Well, yeah. I don’t really care where I eat. Food is food.”

            “Ah. Okay.” Antonio nods, glancing at Arthur for a moment. “I see you eat with other people, too.”

            Something in the Spaniard’s voice sounds like distaste or even venom, but Romano could be hearing things. “Of course. I mean, I don’t have many friends to eat with, but Arthur propositioned and said he would pay-.”

            “I did not promise that!” Arthur retorts with a scowl.

            Grinning, the Italian continues. “-and it’s no real harm. Why’s that important to you?” Romano asks with a raised eyebrow.

            Antonio’s face for a moment shows discontent, disgust, and a bit of anger, but it quickly forms back into that smile everyone sees. It’s like the other emotions never crossed his face. “Oh, no reason. Just surprised you’d eat with a student professor. I mean, technically he’s a professor and it’s taboo for students and professor to, well, you know.” He chuckles innocently.

            Arthur doesn’t like this guy one bit as he says, “I’m just as much of a student as I am a professor. Besides, Romano and I are just friends. Nothing more.”

            “Oh,” Antonio seems to perk up at that, “in that case, I guess it’s fine.”

            Romano can’t help but feel that he’s been given permission for something he didn’t really have to ask approval for. He shakes himself and sighs. “What do you want, Toni?”

            “Oh! That’s right!” The Spaniard pulls his satchel forward and pilfers through it. “I’m glad I saw you. There’s something I wanted to show you.” He pulls out an envelope with a label on it and holds it up for all to see. “I won some tickets to a recital with all different kinds of performers. I was wondering if you’d like to go with me.”

            “Really?” Romano looks at him with surprise. Just like how being a bird watcher is a secret, a poor one as it seems he's told more than one person that's not his brother about it recently, Romano secretly likes going to any kind of performing arts concert. He’ll complain and gripe about it, but once he’s there, his eyes are wide and sparkling with joy. He wants to express himself with his excitement but reels himself in a shrugs. “I guess that’s fine.”

            “Great!” The tanned man stuffs the envelope back into his satchel so as not to lose it. “It’s happening next weekend. I’ll text you when we should get ready for it, okay?”

            “Whatever.” He smiles a little at the Spaniard, heart quickening just the littlest bit as a thought of the concert possibly being a date goes through his mind. Like that would happen. It’s just some time put aside for some friends who want to hang out. “Can I finish my lunch now?”

            “Yes! Excuse me. Sorry.” Tonio giggles and waves, not bothering to do the same with Arthur as he leaves.

            Once he’s gone, Arthur makes a comment. “He completely ignored me.”

            “Are you sure?” Romano asks with a raise of his eyebrow. “Seems he was aware of you and sensitive with you being here.”

            “I’m quite sure when someone’s obviously and intentionally ignoring me. I should know. I lived with Alfred majority of my life.”

            Romano gives that to him but doesn’t believe it. “I’m sure we’re just seeing things. He kind of has a one-tracked mind for what he wants to do or say.” He picks up his sub and tries to finish what’s left of it. “He’s an idiot.”

            “He’s an arse, that’s what.” Arthur huffs, appetite suddenly lost.

            “You’re the one that’s an ass-hole.” Romano chuckles, playfully nudging Arthur’s knee with his own. “Forget about it. He’s not worth it.”

            “That’s what you say but I know what you think about him.” Arthur grins a little as he sees Romano blush, stuttering a retort that doesn’t quite make it out of his mouth. “He’s gotten to you and you want him, yeah?”

            “Like I’d ever wanna date that air-head. He may have a nice ass, be skinny as hell, dazzling dark green eyes one could get lost in-.”

            “If you’re going to continue complimenting him without saying a ‘but’ in there, I’m going to barf.” Arthur rolls his eyes, obviously disgruntled with this conversation.

            “- _but_ ,” Romano ignores the Brit and continues, “I doubt he’d be smart enough to try and make a date with someone. I mean, come on. He’s klutzy and a fool. Acts like he forgets things easily and plays it cool. I’ve seen countless people ask him out and he just thinks they want to hangout, nothing more.”

            Arthur sighs through his nose. “You know as well as I do that what you’ve stated is untrue.”

            The olive skinned man pouts, furrowing his eyebrows as he stares at the last bit of his sub. He stays silent, knowing that Arthur is right. Antonio is an open book with how his body language is. It’s obvious that he’s into Romano but Romano is in forced denial. He’s unsure why someone would want to date him, even if he likes that someone. He’s not perfect. He’s not welcoming. He’s not innocent. He’s not pure. Why would anyone want him?

            “We’ve only known each other for almost three months,” he states.

            “That’s long enough to start dating anyone, Lovino.”

            His wall is cracking. “But what if it really isn’t a date? I’d just be hoping for something that won’t happen.”

            Arthur frowns at his friend. “You shouldn’t give up so easily, Lovino.” He slowly brings one of his hands over to Romano’s shoulder, gripping it lightly for reassurance. “Have faith and believe in your hope. If he’s not the one, then someone else will come for you.”

            As Romano stares at his friend, he sees that Arthur wants to add something to that statement but doesn’t. The Brit pulls his hand away and looks down. “I guess you’re right.” He hums. “I won’t know what he really wants until I confront him or ask him myself.”

            “Right,” Arthur agrees wholeheartedly but his thoughts are elsewhere. “And if you want to gripe about him, you know I’m always available for that.” He grins a little at the Italian.

            The brown haired man snorts. “Isn’t that what I already do?”

            “Yes. Yes it is. Be glad I don’t complain about it.”

            “You love hearing me complain and you know it,” Romano kids as he laughs. “Okay, we need to hurry it up or we’ll be late for our classes. I’d love to skip them since they’re not important, but…”

            “I will be walking you to class and making sure you go to it,” Arthur sternly states. “I will not let you waste your grandfather’s money.”

            “Fine,” Romano whines with a smirk. “No one likes a babysitter, Arthur. It’s a shitty job.”

            “Depends on what kind of kid you get. The child I’m looking after is someone like me: a lot to handle but nice once you get to know them.”

            “Ass-hole.”

            “Twat.”

            They laugh together, finishing their food before discarding their garbage and hurrying off. Not one of them realizes that someone watched them finish eating and head on out together. Someone who grips their hands into fists and walks away in a rage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romano and Antonio go on their date.

            The days pass by quicker as Romano eagerly waits for the recital Antonio is taking him to. He doesn’t visibly show how giddy he is besides his nervous leg bouncing now and then during classes. During his classes with Arthur, he’s had to avoid some chalk thrown at him and ignore the annoyed glares sent his way. He doesn’t understand why Arthur is being such a prick these days since their lunch Antonio disturbed. Romano knows that the Brit doesn’t like Antonio – a lack for a good enough reasoning besides an “instinctual feeling” that he has – but he ignores his friend’s words. The Italian knows Tonio more than Arthur does, so the Briton has no room to sway his judgment. Or so Romano thinks.

            When the day finally approaches, Antonio contacts Romano via text.  _“This Saturday at 6:30pm!!! You excited? :3”_

            The brown haired Italian rolls his eyes with a grin as he sits at his desk, staring at his phone before replying.  _“Eh, kind of. I’m just glad to get out some. Barely have enough friends for stupid shit to do.”_

              _“You think this is stupid??? :(”_

              _“No, just saying I don’t get out enough.”_  Romano sighs, shaking his head at the idiot Spaniard his heart pines for.  _“This-”_  he stops himself from typing out the rest of the sentence that will let the other know he’s really happy or feeling an emotion similar to it. He deletes the one word and thinks of a reply that fits his stubborn personality of being vague.  _“It better be worth going to, though. I’ll be pissed if it’s shitty.”_

             _“Fear not, Romanito, for I have heard that these groups on show are amazing. :)”_

_“Are you a music critique who says so?”_

_“No, but I’ve played enough music in my life to know when someone is good.”_

            If he remembers correctly, Antonio did mention that he played guitar for a long while.  _“Is music a passion of yours?”_

             _“Yes, but it’s more of a hobby. My true passion is agriculture. :3 I love gardening and taking care of animals~ I’d love to own a true farm one day, or even inherit the one back home in Spain. Maybe you could help me take care of it someday? :3”_

            Another one of Antonio’s implied texts. Romano blushes, knowing those hints behind those words but refusing to acknowledge their existence in his replies.  _“Dream on, bastard.”_ He sighs, a fond smile on his lips as he imagines it for a moment only to banish it. Like that would really happen.  _“So you’ll be picking me up when?”_

             _“If you’d like, we can spend the whole morning together before the recital. We can have a nice dinner too. :3”_

_“I guess that’s okay. What time in the morning?”_

_“Does 10 sound good?”_

            Romano isn’t really a morning person but for these past few months he’s been dealing with it. Even the weekends it’s hard for him to sleep in to noon like he used to.  _“That’s fine. I’ll see you then. Gotta do my homework. :P”_

_“Good luck! See you then, mi tomate!~ :*”_

            The Italian scowls, warmth spreading across his cheeks once more as his heart races. “Idiot. I’m not his.” He refuses to say that one would which would say otherwise. A small grin appears on his face, though, as he hums and gets back to work.

            Saturday soon comes all too quickly for him. He’s up and ready by 9:30, trying his best to be patient. The attire he’s chosen for this actual date – he hopes it’s a date, but don’t tell anyone or he’d deny it to his dying breath – is causal formal since they’re seeing a recital. He has on some nice tan slacks with a red button up shirt and a black jacket that’s good enough to be fancy but isn’t all that fancy at the same time. Romano knows he’ll be wearing some coat and hat with a scarf since the days are getting colder already. Thanksgiving has already gone and passed so it definitely is the winter season. It literally was just two days ago but it’s a most definite fact that winter is coming. Some days are still fall like but there’s a chill in the air to contradict those thoughts.

            When he gets a text from Antonio, Romano grabs up his things and begins to head out. “Have dinner without me, Veneziano. I’ll be out all day.”

            “Enjoy your date,” Feli sings back before settling under his covers again. He was watching his brother the whole time since he woke up because of him being noisy. Now he can finally sleep peacefully again.

            Romano flushes, about to say it’s not a date but decides to let it go. Feliciano wouldn’t believe him anyway. So the elder Italian rushes on down towards the front, concealing his smile in a thin burnt-orange scarf as he opens the door and sees Antonio there waiting for him. The Spaniard smiles wide and motions to his car. The two leave the dorm and go in the car, heading on out to wherever Antonio planned for this day.

            “I never asked about Thanksgiving, did I?” The green eyed man muses aloud as he drives down the main drag, headings towards the heart of the city they’re in. “How was it?”

            “Well, considering that mio fratello and I actually went home just for that holiday, it was okay.” He shrugs, looking out the window next to him. “Our aunt, uncle, and cousin have been renting out our home while they stay as we’re in college, so it was nice. They’re the only family we actually like having around these days. Especially our cousin. He’s like an older brother. Looks like us to the very curl, only his curl in angular, not circular.”

            “I’ve always wanted to ask about your curls. They’re very peculiar. Not something you see on a person that often.” Antonio hums as he thinks a bit. “But I have seen a good number of ahoges, or cowlicks if people don’t know that word.” He chuckles, gazing over at the Italian for a moment. “Alfred has one, and so does an Austrian friend of mine.”

            Romano nods, furrowing his brows as it’s the first time he’s heard of that word. “What’s the literal definition of “ahoge”?”

            The Spaniard grins wide. “Idiot hair. Usually used to define those who are carefree and such.”

            The younger man snorts, hiding his grin behind his hand. “That definitely defines Alfred well. To think he was created with something that screams “Look at me! I’m a carefree idiot! How should you know? Just look at my stupid ahoge!”” Romano chuckles. “I’m surprised you don’t have one considering you’re quite carefree as well. And an idiot.”

            “Not everyone has a defining feature like that to broadcast to the world what they’re really like.” Antonio chuckles, shaking his head. “Also, you never know. I could truly be the bumbling idiot you think I am, carefree and happy-go-lucky, or I could be someone putting on airs to seem that way only to be very smart and serious.”

            “Or you could be two-faced, but hey,” the Italian shrugs, “I still think you’re an idiot no matter what.” He grins so the other knows his jab is playful.

            It goes unnoticed to Romano that Antonio’s grip on his steering wheel tightens at the suggestions. The Spaniard merely smiles with a small laugh and nod, agreeing with Romano. They soon drop that topic and go silent for the rest of the ride during the day. When Antonio parks at the side of a road in the city, they get out and begin walking after putting some coins into the park meter. Romano is stubborn but he will admit that just being with Antonio in the morning is quite fun. The Spaniard is making sure that they do everything - window shop, listen to artists on the street corners, anything that pops into his mind. He wants Romano to enjoy his time out and it’s working. Romano is definitely enjoying himself while with Antonio.

            Time passes and the sun is in the west, nearing the horizon to set. Antonio and Romano have moved from place to place finally towards the restaurant for dinner before going to the theater where the recital is. Romano thinks about how fun his day has been. Nothing has gone wrong. He hopes it keeps being like this right up until Antonio drops him off home. Dinner comes to their table and they start eating, smiles both on their faces.

            “Are you excited?” Antonio asks as he pierces his chicken with his fork.

            Romano feels his usual stubborn nature crop up but he pushes it down, figuring he can be honest for once. “Hell yeah, I’m excited.” He smirks when Antonio smiles wide at his response. “I just hope we don’t get any jerks in front of us that will ruin the performance for us.”

            “I hope so, too.” A shadow in Antonio’s eyes flash through before they sparkle again with his happiness. “How’s the food?”

            “Eh, could be better.” Romano shrugs as he takes another bite of his meal. “I could make better.”

            “I believe it.” The Spaniard giggles.

            They converse through dinner about the highlights so far in their day. Antonio seems overjoyed that Romano is really having fun with him. Romano keeps pushing down most of his stubbornness when he feels he should be upfront and honest with Tonio but doesn’t push it completely down. He wouldn’t be himself if he just blurted every honest thing in his mind. No, that’s Feliciano jib.

            After dinner, they head on over to the theater where the recital is being held. The line is long even though they have their tickets already but they’re in no real hurry. They take their time, waiting until they’re finally at their seats. When they sit down, Romano admires the view. Directly in the center a few sections back from the stage are where their seats rest. It’s nearly a perfect view. Now all that needs to not happen is some tall bastards to sit in front of them and/or jerks occupying the seats.

            The Spaniard crosses his legs a few times as he gets comfortable in his seat, sitting straight with a huge smile on his face. He glances at Romano, who admires the stage, and chuckles quietly. “Have you been to a recital before?”

             “Not one like this,” Romano answers just as quietly. He gazes at the other, their eyes locking for a moment that causes his cheeks to increase their warmth. “Like I’ve mentioned before, I don’t go out often. Not even as a kid.”

            “Aie, what kind of life have you been living?” Antonio’s smile pricks with sadness.

            “A shitty one.” Romano chuckles lightly, turning front as the lights begin to flicker. “But I guess it’s been clearing up for the past few months. It’s not as bad anymore.”

            As the house lights become dim, the Spaniard slips a hand over to the other’s. Romano tenses a bit, face turning redder though no one will see it in the dark. The orchestra in the pit begins to play, and they hold hands. The Italian’s neck warms fast, hairs standing on end as his heart quickens. He doesn’t know why Antonio is holding his hand but he doesn’t let go. He lightly grips the other’s hand, making sure their hands stay together. A broad smile appears on Antonio’s face and the two watch the recital.

            All kinds of performances made it to the stage that night. Dancers who were solo, full groups working together for a story, singers, actors. It was a mix of everything anyone could really enjoy from a stage. Some acts were performed by well-known people but Romano didn’t know any of them. That didn’t take away from his nice night with Antonio, though. If anything, it brought more giddiness to him now that he knows some other groups he would like to see perform again. Throughout the whole recital, they held each other’s hands, never letting go until the very end where people clap and stand for every performance.

            Then it was time to go home. The two exit the theater, Roman bristling with after excitement though he feels sad that the night is ending too soon. Antonio opens the car door for him as they go over and Romano flushes as he nods his thanks. Getting in, he buckles up, fidgeting slightly as he knows his very first date – if this was truly a date – is near its closing moment. When Antonio drops him off at the dorm, that will be it. He wonders if a second date will possibly happen in the future. He hopes so because he’s had real fun with Antonio this night.

            While they get back on the road, Antonio taps a tune on his steering wheel, humming with a smile. “What did you think of the performances?”

            “They were amazing,” Romano quickly answers, brimming giddiness. He quickly calms down, forcing a pout on his face. “Though, some of the acts could have been done a little better.”

            Antonio laughs a little at the other’s stubbornness. “There may have been a few mistakes up there but it was still so ‘awe’ striking. I bet no one will remember the mistakes.”

            “The performers will, and some of them will get depressed over it.” Romano would if it was him making a mistake during a huge performance. That’s why he’s not ever going into the acting or performance majors. “I just hope none of them get too dramatic about it. It’s enough knowing true stories about people like them basically killing themselves to be perfect and the best. It’s fucking nuts.”

            “It’s how they are,” Antonio says softly. “Some people grow up in a family where they have to be first or they’re not good enough.” He hums in though, grip on his steering wheel tightening. “And if they’re not good enough, they get tossed away. Even then they will strive to be the best, intentionally or unintentionally, just for approval from someone out there. Once they get that approval, they’ll want more… It’s kind of unhealthy when you think deeply about it.” Antonio chuckles.

            The Italian thinks about that, nodding a little. “Yeah, I guess it is.” He wonders how Antonio would know what it’s like, if it’s possible he went through something like that or a friend did. Maybe the Spaniard likes to read stories with those kinds of character backgrounds. “I wouldn’t really know what it’s like. I wish it were just that I went through, but no, I had some other shit in my life to deal with.”

            Antonio is silent for a moment. “I wish you could trust me enough to talk about your past.” He reaches over with one of his hands to grip Romano’s closest hand. “I’d like to know what happened to you.”

            Romano smiles wryly. “I know, but I’m not ready to tell anyone yet.” This is a half-truth. He’s not ready to tell anyone but he feels he could tell one person. That person isn’t Antonio. If anything, Antonio would be the third to get the whole story after he tells Arthur and Feliciano. He’s already decided that after telling Arthur he’ll tell Feli, he just needs to find the day and time to do so. “When I’m ready, I’ll tell you everything, okay?”

            “Okay.” Antonio doesn’t let go of his hand, driving the rest of the way to the dorm comfortably like this. When he’s parked by the back door of the dorm, he let’s go and gets out to walk Romano to the door. “I hope you really enjoyed your time with me today.”

            Romano’s cheeks grow warm as he hides a smile behind his scarf, nodding a little. “I did.”

            “Maybe there’s a chance for a second date then?”

            The Italian’s heart flutters at those words, smiling more but still hiding from the other. “Maybe.”

            Antonio chuckles, slowly taking Romano’s hand and rubbing his thumb against the back of the dark blond’s hand. He still finds it amusing that Romano hasn’t dyed his hair back to his original color yet but doesn’t say anything because the near amber hair color is something nice. He smiles more when Romano’s ears turn red and he grips his hand lightly back. It’s not that hard to feel the Italian’s heart rate this way as it speeds up.

            “Hey Lovi?”

            “Yeah?”

            “I know we’ve only been on one date, but we’ve known each other for three months now,” Antonio starts. He brings his free hand up to rub the back of his neck as his cheeks turn red. “I was wondering if you’d like to go steady with me?” Romano looks up at him in gleeful surprise but doesn’t get a word in as Antonio quickly continues talking. “If you’d rather wait after, say, our third date to be official, that’s fine with me. I just- I really like you already and I kind of don’t want to wait too long- I don’t want to seem to eager! I’m just- I’d really like to date you officially but if you’re not ready-.”

            “Yes,” Romano states easily, cutting off the Spaniard before he can hurt himself or bite his tongue from his nervous rambling. The Italian finally shows his small smile, gripping Antonio’s hand tighter as he locks eyes with him. “Yes, I’ll go out with you, you bumbling idiot.”

            Antonio happily perks up at the answer, instantly bringing Romano into a hug. “I promise to make you happy, Lovi! I swear I’ll do right by you and that no one will harm you while we’re together.” Romano chuckles as he hugs back a little before Antonio pulls away enough to look at him. “You won’t regret it. I promise.”

            As if to seal the deal, Antonio kisses him. Romano’s shock comes but quickly subsides as he kisses Antonio back. He’s really wanted to kiss him so why push him away and act stubborn again now? Antonio pulls him full flush against his from, deepening the kiss. The eagerness along with giddiness is obvious to the both of them. Too bad that’s all they can really do right now.

            When they finally pull away for some air, Romano’s cheeks blossom a tomato red as his glassy eyes stare up into Antonio. The Spaniard chuckles as he pecks Romano lightly on his lips once more. “Go rest up, mi tomate. We can plan a second date later, si?”

            Romano nods, separating from Antonio as he reels in from the heated kiss. He hums with a dopey smile before scowling at Antonio’s pleased expression. “Don’t think too much of this, you got it, bastard?”

            “Of course not.” Antonio giggles as he waves. “Buenos noches, mi carino.”

            The hazel eyed brunet hums as he bites his bottom lip to prevent another smile from appearing. He nods. “Buono natel.” He turns to his dorm and buzzes himself in with his ID, body withholding his excitement. When he rushes up the stairs and into his shared dorm, he finally can’t hold back his smile. “Veneziano, you would not believe what happened!”

            His night ends with his brother squealing in delight for him as he shares his day with Feli. Feliciano exclaims how it is a night of celebration and they should go out, but Romano declines and says maybe the next day. It’s the first time Romano has ever gotten a love interest before and started dating anyone so of course Feliciano is overjoyed. Romano only hopes that his British friend will think the same when he meets him next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I could've put much more in the chapter, expanded some sections to make it longer, but I didn't really feel like it at this time. If I wish to change it in the future, I will. Either way, I hope y'all enjoyed the update.
> 
> This isn't beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romano visits Arthur in his apartment not too far from campus and reveals the most recent events happening. In turn, Arthur shares a bit of himself before Romano delves into his past.

            “Do you know how fucking hard it is to flag you down these days?” Romano pouts at Arthur as he sits across from the man marking up papers.

            The Italian is visiting Arthur in his apartment just ten minutes away from campus. Since the Brit is a Junior-Senior, he was given the opportunity to stay in an apartment instead of dorming with other students. From what Romano can tell, Alfred either lives with him or visits quite often though he also dorms. It’s a quaint little apartment filled with a bunch of books on every visible surface. He would’ve thought that Arthur was an organized person but then again, it is getting close to the end of the semester. Not everyone can keep up a clean home.

            “I’m well aware.” Arthur brushes off the glare sent his way as he continues focusing on grading the papers in front of him. “I’m sorry, but this was the only available time I could acquire for the two of us to chat outside of class. With the finals looming before us, I’ve had to focus solely on my work and not prattle on, goofing with friends.”

            That comment irritates Romano as he huffs, crossing his arms. “Fine. I guess I’ll deal.”

            “What did you want to talk about?”

            “How my first date with Antonio went.”

            Arthur pauses a moment to glance up at his friend. “How did it go?”

            The Italian smirks as he’s got the other’s attention. “It wasn’t as shitty as I thought it would be. Damn near exploded with happiness, believe it or not.”

            “Hn.” The Brit goes back to work.

            Romano doesn’t like the reaction he’s getting out of his friend. No matter how busy Arthur is, he would think that the blond would be the least bit happy for him. “We’re going out now, too.”

            “Congrats.”

            “What the fuck, Arthur? You could be a little happy for me.”

            “Excuse me for not brimming with joy for you.” Arthur’s green eyes lock with Romano’s through some squared lenses, an irritated fire behind them as he scowls. “I’ve more pressing matters to handle besides silly romances.”

            This hurts Romano. Arthur’s his first closest friend he’s made in years and the guy doesn’t even care about him being romantically happy with anyone. “And here I was thinking some shitty reason to finally to you the hell of a past I had. Seems I was wrong to think you’d be willing to listen. Of course I was wrong. Who the fuck really gives two shits about me and my happiness?”

            As he stands up, the Briton sighs and grabs his wrist. “Don’t leave. I’m sorry.” He glares at the table. “I’ve been stressed lately with finals, exams, my own classwork, and being reprimanded for dying my hair since it’s not becoming of a professor. I shouldn’t be taking my frustrations out on you. I’m sorry.”

            Romano stays standing, conflicted as to whether he should sit back down or not. “You got in trouble for dying your hair?”

            Arthur doesn’t let go of him quite yet, afraid the bloke would leave if he did. “As a student professor, I should hold an example in front of my students. Dying my hair is not the best kind of example one should give as it’s a form of rebellion, or so the board says. Strict bastards, the lot of them.”

            The Italian smirks a little, slowly sitting down in his chair sideways so he can get up again if needed. “Did you have to dye your hair again to blond? I don’t see remnants of another color.”

            “Unfortunately, my roots are the only things that didn’t turn back to blond.” The other man grins back as he lifts some of his hair to show off a lime green color at his roots. “I’ve always fancied lime green as a hair color during my high school years. I kept my role as student council president while also being slightly rebellious. I’m surprised I wasn’t scolded then about it.”

            Romano snorts a laugh as he covers his mouth, imagining a younger Arthur with lime green hair. He somehow gets an image of a punk Arthur with piercings nearly everywhere, maybe even on his tongue. The question of how it feels to kiss someone with a pierced tongue goes through his mind once before he shoves it in the back. He doesn’t want Arthur to know he’s kind of daydreaming a little of them kissing like that. It’d be weird, wouldn’t it? They’re just friends, nothing more. There’s no interest there whatsoever even if Arthur is good looking.

            “You should tell me more about yourself. I barely know anything about you besides the few things you’ve shared already.”

            Arthur hums as he finally releases Romano’s wrist. “I guess I should tell you a few more things about myself before you delve into your entire past history.” With a firm nod, he motions for the other to speak. “Ask away, I’ll answer as much as I can before you do the same.”

            Romano brings his hand to his chin in thought as he gets comfy in his seat. “Tell me about your high school days.”

            “Of course you’d ask that after my saying something.” Arthur chuckles, setting down his pen as he takes off his glasses. “My high school days were not all that interesting. I was kind of crazy then. I bet people believed I had Multiple Personality Disorder. I used to play along with that joke until I graduated, too.”

            “How so?” Romano grins, intrigued.

            “Well, I would one day be a diligent worker that was stand-offish and only mingled if I had a reason to. Other days I’d be a punk that would get a rise out of teasing everyone, including the teachers, and smoke behind the bleachers when I was too lazy to play in Phys. Ed.”

            “You? Smoking?”

            “I know. Deadly thing for me to do but I did it for pure boredom’s interesting.” He chuckles as he shakes his head. “Then there were the rare days where I was belligerent. I wasn’t quiet and working nor was I teasing and wild. I was just down right livid for a whole day. Sometimes there was a reason, other times there was no reasons at all. Majority of the time it was because of my stupid cousin Alfred, other times it was because of a bad break-up or someone being an idiot in my presence. Other kids called that side of me: Captain Kirkland, Devil Pirate.”

            Romano laughs. “No.”

            “Yes.” Arthur joins him for a moment before continuing. “I still graduated top of my class even with all those days of being a different version of myself. Had my hair dyed a lime green for senior year, pierced a few normal places on my body as well as a few abnormal places that one would think is uncomfortable or painful.”

            “Like where?”

            “I pierced my ears more than anything, but most of the holes have closed up.” He leans forward while pulling lightly on his right ear. Romano leans in to examine his ear. “You can see some small ones. I still wear studs now and again. I’ve even got my nose pierced once but that was just a temporary thing. Too uncomfortable for my liking.” They sit back against their chairs again before he continues. “There’s also residue from when I pierced both my nipples once.”

            “You’re kidding.” Romano raises his eyebrows.

            “Far from it.” Arthur grins. “Those holes are still there. Occasionally I’ll were some there but I tend not to since it just irritates my nipples to the point of arousing me at the oddest times.”

            Romano sniggers. “Oh my god, Arthur.”

            “The farthest I went for piercing, though, was my tallywhacker.”

            All laughter dies at that comment while Romano processes the slang word for the male’s genitals. His face blooms red as he stares at Arthur, who merely grins at him with a light tint of pink on his cheeks. “Are you serious?” Romano asks.

            “As serious and real as the piercing on my tongue.” Arthur makes a show of said object as he licks his lips, clanking the metal item against his teeth lightly before hiding the muscle in his mouth again. “If you don’t believe me, I can always show you.”

            The room suddenly feels hotter as Romano clears his throat. “No need.” He gazes away, mind instantly in the gutter and trying _not_ to imagine the kind of piercings Arthur has on his body.

            Arthur snickers. “Lord, Lovino, it is enjoyable to see you color red with embarrassment.”

            The Italian scowls at him, situating himself in another position as he leans on the table between them. “Tell me about your family life and then I’ll get into mine.”

            “Family life, huh?” The Briton hums as he brings a leg up to rest on his knee. “It’s pretty ordinary. Probably another sob story full of complaining. You sure you want to hear it?”

            “It’s only fair since I’ll be sharing you my own version of a sob story.” Romano smiles humorously.

            Arthur studies the smile for a moment before nodding. “Right. Then I’ll get to it.” He breathes in, closing his eyes for better focus on the topic. “My family is a mix of Scottish, Irish, Welsh, and British. My mother was a tramp that slept around with men a lot, usually ones with money, and every time she got pregnant, she married the man, sucked them dry of wealth, then left them with the child she gave birth to. I know of three brothers and a sister who have gone through this, but it seems I was different because she actually kept me to raise herself.”

            “How come?”

            “Beats me.” He shrugs, opening his eyes so he can stare at the table. He brings a hand up to tap a rhythm with his fingers before continuing. “I was made from a British bloke that she actually loved and didn’t cheat on. I’m a carbon copy of him, so maybe that’s why. Shame he didn’t live for too long. When he died, I was around three years old. She became broken hearted and exerted her anger at life onto me. It was odd. One moment she yells at me, says she hates that I look like the man she loves that was taken from her too quickly. The next she’s weeping on the floor, begging for my forgiveness as her words were untrue; she did love me a cherished me.” He hums, leg beginning to bounce as he shares this information with Romano. “I did love that woman. Always will in a sense, but when I hit high school it just got hard to be around her. Not to mention when my siblings all show up in a rage.”

            “How old are your siblings?”

            “Erie is twenty-eight, Allistor is twenty-six, Owen is twenty-five, Liam is twenty-four, and I’m twenty-three. There’s a huge complicated mess with our family about that but I don’t want to get into.” He waves that bit off, preparing himself to further delve into his past. “Anyway, they appeared one day out of the blue and demanded that our mother do something about them. They were right mad, with good reasoning, and when the discovered I was their brother raised by her, they instantly disliked me.”

             “Don’t tell me that after they chewed her out, you were treated like shit from them out of jealousy.”

             “Pretty much sums it up, if she were actually there for them to chew her out.” He sighs. “I told them she rarely comes home since I’m a disappointment in her eyes and they thought I was protecting her. After a week, they realized what a shit mother she was. They were jealous but I think they also felt slightly better knowing that I was the one who got the short end of the stick. Soon after that, they just made it their goal to someway somehow make it known that they’re better than me, can do so much more in life, were wealthier than me, and rubbed salt in the wounds.” Frowning, Arthur lets his leg fall back down as he clasps his hands together. “As if their words weren’t already making my life miserable. That’s why Captain Kirkland came out a lot during my last year in high school before I could finally move away to be here.”

            Romano hums as he thinks about that. Comparing his life with Arthur’s, the bits that he’s learned, he feels that Arthur might have had it worse since it was an ongoing deal. For Romano, his life stopped being shitty after he moved in with his grandfather. There were still scary days, but having to deal with all that up until going to college, Romano wouldn’t have lasted. He’d have killed himself before then.

            “And that’s my bit about my family. Buncha wankers. Mother passed last year and I don’t really miss her. Alcohol poisoning. Got what she deserves, I say.”

            “If only I could say the same thing for my old man.” Romano hums with a bitter smile. "How did she end up taking care of Alfred and Matthew, then?"

            "They can around when I was a preteen. I was the one who took care of them more than my mum did, though she was the one who adopted them." He taps his pointer finger against the table a few times. "They weren't there when the lot visited with their knickers in a twist, thank the Lord, but when I had them and became of age, I brought them with me."

            "So you're more like the elder brother that's a father figure instead of just their close cousin." Arthur confirms Romano's statement with a nod. The Italian hums as he takes that in, leaning back into his chair. “I think I've learned enough about you for now. Would you like to hear my story?”

            “Of course.” Arthur instantly pushes himself forward with his chair, coming closer as much as he could with the table between them. “I’m ready when you are, Lovino.”

            It takes the Italian a moment, breathing in before exhaling a long sigh that chases out his jitters. “Ever wondered why I preferred to be called by my middle name?”

            “It’s crossed my mind once or twice, but I’ve never bothered to ask because I respect your choice of who you are.”

            He smiles sincerely at that. “Thanks.” Maybe Arthur is the right person to tell first. “I know we’ve only known each other for a short time as well, but I trust you enough with this.”

            “I’m touched.” Arthur smiles back, going quiet as to encourage the other to speak on.

            “Okay,” Romano starts. He tries to focus on the beginning of it all, what he could remember. It wasn’t that hard but some things were fuzzy as the years have gone by. “I’m not sure when it all really started, but the clearest memory I have is when I was seven.”

            That’s how he starts his story of what his father put him through at such a young age. Arthur’s face twists into many expressions – surprise, sadness, and anger being the top three he sees often. When he mentions how the man threatened to do the same to Feliciano if Romano wasn’t a good boy, Arthur’s hands clenched into fists. Romano feels a form of relief as he keeps telling his friend – best friend now? – about what happened to him. As soon as he gets to the part when he was nine, that’s when he begins receding into his memories and almost reliving them. Arthur is able to keep him tied down but pulling everything back to the front, officially speaking about it just digs up all the emotions and clips he doesn’t want to remember. He doesn’t stop, though. He keeps pushing the story out. It needs to be done. It needs to be told.

            Romano thanks Arthur wholeheartedly in his mind for being the strong person who he can lean on while sharing all this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romano's past when he was nine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is implied child abuse and rape later in the chapter. Viewer discretion is advised. You have been warned.

            A nine year old Romano walks hand-in-hand with his father down several blocks from their home. He’s nervous, unsure of what his father has planned this time. The man has stated that he’s going to pick something up for himself before taking Romano to the park. He deserves to have some fun since he’s been such a good boy for his father these past two years. Romano doesn’t argue. He keeps his mouth shut letting himself get whatever it is he’ll be receiving from his father. It’s a good change for once. Something that he would want more often of if at all possible.

            “While I’m picking up my package, I want you to behave,” his father orders. “You will do as I say or I will take you back home. Understand, mio figlio?”

            “Si, padre.” Romano nods, unable to look at his father’s eyes. “I understand.”

            “And don’t talk to anyone else. Not unless they’re one of daddy’s friends. Si?”

            Romano cringes as he thinks of his father’s friends. Shivering, he nods again. “Si, padre.”

            “Good.” The man ruffles his hair up, turning another block before stopping in front of a two story house with a front porch. He walks up the steps, dragging Romano up with him. Before he goes to the door, he sets Romano on a porch swing and kneels in front of him. “Stay here. I won’t be long in there, okay?” Romano nods but his father continues to warn him. “Don’t you move from this spot,” he repeats. “Don’t make eye contact with anyone who enters or exits. Only if myself or a friend of mine approaches you.”

            “Si, padre. I understand.” Romano’s eyes stare at his shoes. They’re old light up ones that are scuffed on the sides. The lights don’t even work anymore. He doesn’t want to get rid of these no matter how battered they are. “I won’t move. I won’t talk to anyone. Not unless they’re you or one of your friends.” Because his father’s friends were all loyal to him. All like his father.

            “Good boy, Romano.” He ruffles his son’s hair up once more before heading into the house finally. The screen door creaks open as the man swings it on the hinges, it soon slamming shut and rattling behind the Italian man once he enters the house.

            Romano flinches, hands griping his jeans as he just stares at the deck under the porch swing. He doesn’t really move at all, waiting for his father. Through the cracked window next to him he hears laughing, cursing, shouts. Things he doesn’t want to understand that go on inside. He’s been to this house once before with his father. It’s the same thing with the same people. He just goes with it, not wanting to disturb anything. A child shouldn’t be here, he can feel that he doesn’t belong there, but his father takes him here when there’s nothing else for either of them to do. When his mother and Feliciano were out with the other women doing whatever it was they did most of the time.

            Romano was always stuck with his father. He hates being stuck with his father but he doesn’t have a word in anything. Not when his father can so easily harm him, can so easily hurt his mother and brother. Feliciano was more important that he was. He needed to protect Feliciano from what their father does. That’s the only drive he has that keeps him from uttering anything to his mother or an adult who could help him out of it. His father swore that he wouldn’t touch Feli if he was a good boy, so he’s being a good boy. He’s following his father’s every word. His father’s every command.

            “Son?”

            The child jumps and looks up, wide eyed as he finds himself under the gaze of someone he doesn’t know. A man stands before him, rugged looking like majority of those who go into this house at times. The man soon kneels in front of him, Romano’s eyes following his every move. He’s not sure why this person just came up to talk to him. He needs to be careful since he doesn’t recognize this guy. Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t talk to anyone.

            “Is this your house?” The man asks him but doesn’t receive an answer. The guy hums, looking at the door only to gaze at the window when he hears people inside the house laugh. “If it’s not your house, are your parents in there? Visiting friends perhaps?” He gazes back at Romano, waiting for anything. A small smile pricks at the guy’s lips when he thinks of something. “You know, this house belongs to a friend of mine. If your parents are friends of the owner, they’re most likely friends of mine.”

            That gets the child to fidget some. Romano looks down, feeling the words bubble through his chest up and out of his mouth. “My father’s in there.”

            “Of course!” The guy laughs a little. “I thought you looked familiar. Yeah, your father frequents here a bit.” He stares at the kid, a grin on his face, one that makes the smaller child shiver. “You have his eyes.”

            Romano doesn’t feel right around this guy but something just makes him blurt words out. “I’ve never seen you before.”

            “Oh, well, your father and I like to hang out when it’s just us.” The guy shrugs. “I don’t go to any of those other things he invites me to. I have my own thing to do so I don’t have the time.” The guy glances at the window as more voices slip out, curses and slurs. He hums. “The stuff in this house isn’t really to my taste.” His eyes go back to the kid, watching Romano squirm a little. “Hey, you know, I have a lollipop back in my truck. A full bag of ‘em. Would you like one?”

            Alarms go off in Romano’s head at that. He may be a child but he’s not entirely stupid. Even if it’s free candy. “I don’t know…”

            “I could drive you home. I’ll go tell your father I’m going to drive you home, okay?”

            Romano still isn’t sure but if the guy really is his father’s friend, he should listen to the man. His father has told him countless times to listen and obey when he or his friends tell him to do something, so he nods his okay. The man stands and goes on in. He doesn’t come back out for a short while, enough where Romano knows the guy must be talking to his father. His nerves slowly calm down and he sighs, kicking his feet back and forth while he waits on the swing. Soon enough, the man emerges from the doorway with a big grin.

            “Come on, kid. I’ll take you home now.”

            Romano hops off the swing, quickly following the man. “Could we stop by the park for a bit, too?” He innocently asks. His father did promise a trip to the park.

            “Sure!” The guy guides Romano towards his truck, opening the back door and pointing to the bag of lollipops. “There are the lollipops like I promised. You can only have two or else you’ll get a tummy ache.”

            “Okay,” Romano chirps with a small smile as he climbs into the back of the truck. He straps himself in before grabbing one of his favorite flavor lollipops. He unwraps it and puts it in his mouth. “Thank you, mister.”

            “No problem, kiddo.” The guy shuts the door and goes around, jumping up into the driver’s seat. He closes the door and buckles in, starting the truck up and backing out of the driveway before heading off towards the park. He drives the speed limit of 30 miles per hour, taking his time getting there. “Just let me know if you need something, all right, kid?”

            The small brown haired child hums, staring out the window as the houses pass by. He feels the truck stop and go every now and then at each sign, rocking him a little. Soon enough, he notices that they’re close to the park but he’s getting sleepy. The guy turns on some soft music too that doesn’t help his drowsiness. Romano yawns, eyes drooping.

            “All right, kid, we’re at the park.” He hears the guy say. The man shifts when he doesn’t answer, most likely look back. “You okay kid? Tired?”

            Romano nods a little. “Mm,” he sounds out from his shut mouth. “I just wanna go home.”

            A small laugh comes from the guy. “Okay, kid. I’ll take you home.”

            The man shifts once more, turning back to the wheel and driving again. Romano’s eyes finally close all the way, him sucking on the lollipop until it’s gone. He doesn’t even realize where he’s going, just that he’s super tired all of a sudden and wants to sleep. He wants to go home. So he falls asleep, the truck rocking him back and forth a little as the soft music lulls him further into his dreams.

            Little Romano had no clue what was really going to happen to him.

**Possessively Scary**

            When Romano wakes up, he’s in an unfamiliar room. The stench is what he notices first as he crinkles his nose in disgust. Covering his nose with his tiny hands, he slowly sits up from the thin mattress he’s on and takes in the room. It’s a messy room with off-white wall paper peeling off to show the wooden walls it original showed off. Weather worn spots in the corners or cracks warped from rain and snow. Flies buzzing around some moldy food next to the mattress.

            Tears prick at his eyes when he sees the boarded up window across from him. There’s only a small crevice for some light to pour through enough to tell him what time of day it is but he’s not even sure if this was the same day his dad took him to the house. That stranger who gave him a lollipop could tell him but he didn’t see the man. Panic takes over him as he realizes that the stranger claiming to be his father’s friend must have taken him somewhere. He tried to think positive but why bother when he already knows.

            He’s been kidnapped by an old man who will do God knows what with him.

            Romano chokes down a sob, hands still covering his nose and mouth. He doesn’t want to make a fuss. If he does, the guy or someone else could come in and beat him until he’s stopped crying. He knows what it’s like already so he doesn’t want to endure more of it from someone else. Instead, he gets up from the dirty thin mattress and walks over to the only door leading out of this room.

            It comes as no surprise that it’s locked when he tries to turn the knob. He sniffs, tears pricking harder as it all processes in his head what could happen to him. He tries pulling on the door but it won’t budge. Romano doesn’t want to give up but ends up doing so anyway. He sits next to the door, curled up and hugging his legs as he silently cries.

            “I’ve got the packaged you asked for.”

            The muffled voice makes him perk up. It’s familiar. Hard to hear clearly but familiar. Romano instantly presses his eat against the door to see if he can hear more of what the guy is saying.

            “The boy is sleeping. He’s at least nine or ten, pretty eyes, and Italian. Price is double for foreign merch, right?”

            Romano’s heart lurches in fear as his little mind takes in those words. He’s going to be sold off? Where? To who? He won’t see his family again? What about Feli? His Nonno? Was his father the one to set this up? Tears stream down his face as he thinks it’d be no surprise if it was.

            “That’s good. I have him here so you can come and…” the guy trails off and Romano listens closely. “What do you mean? You’re not- You can’t back out on me like this!” The man growls, voice louder and clearer. “I’m putting my neck on the line doing your fucking delivery and pick-up shit! Don’t you fucking back out on me!” Stomps thrum through the wood as the man paces on the other side of the wall. “I don’t fucking care! You either come here with the money or I-! Bastard, this isn’t what we agreed on! If you do this then-!” Everything goes quiet before a shout echoes and a harsh crash bounces through the room. “That son-of-a-bitch! See if I give him the boy now.”

            The little Italian feels he’s heard enough and backs away from the door to the mattress. He curls up on it, closing his eyes as he listens to everything around him. He flinches when he hears the steps in the other room come to the door and unlock it. Once the door is open, he smells cigarette smoke and hears the man lean against the door frame.

            “This little runt wasn’t worth all the trouble,” the man grumbles. “All that fucking money- puh! Bastard. I can probably make my own profit of the kid selling him off to more than one who’d-.” His muttering stops as the idea hits him. He stomps over to Romano and kicks his back. “Oi, get up! You need to be cleaned up!”

            Romano yells from the sudden kick but does as told quickly so no more harm can come to him. That’s what he learned from his father. If he does as told quickly, it’ll be less painful. If he’s too slow, the punishments would be horrifying. So he gets up, eyes staring at the floor with his arms at his sides though he wishes to hug himself.

            “If I can sell you off for big money, I’m going to make you a money maker by selling you off as a whore to pervs who enjoy it with kids.” The guy flicks his lighter on as he takes a new cig out to smoke. “You will be obedient, no struggling, otherwise there will be hell to pay. Got it, kid?”

            “Yes, sir,” he answers softly with a nod.

            “Good. Now, let’s go.” He takes Romano by his arm and pushes him roughly out of the room. “Don’t think of escaping. I have dogs outside that can chase you down and rip you apart easily.”

            Romano gulps, fighting the tears that threaten to spill again. He lets the man guide him into a rundown bathroom and wash him up. The guy takes his phone out and calls a few people as he does so, speaking in several languages that Romano doesn’t understand before he’s pushed back into the room again and locked in.

            He may be nine but he’s not too stupid or naïve. The guy is planning to sell him off as a sex toy that other people can fuck with for as long as they want; if they pay him the right amount of money, Romano can be used and abused. This scares the little Italian. It’s enough he had to deal with it from his father and his friends but other people? This was worse than what he dealt with at home.

            His thoughts were proven right when the first man to use him arrived. Romano trembled in fear when locked in the room with a big round man, uglier than a pig. He at first refused but was slapped across the face and forced down. He wanted to fight more, bite the guy, anything to get away, but everything was futile.

            All he could think about was that his father at least had the decency to prep him before shoving his cock up his anus. These men didn’t care about him, they just wanted to get off. The pain was sometimes unbearable and he screamed each time it hurt. Often times he was smacked and told to shut up so he started biting his bottom lip or shoving his face in the mattress to mute his wails.

            This went on for a long while to the point Romano got unresponsive and went with the motions. He’d be cleaned, fed, used, sleep, repeat. He lost count for how many days went by since it all felt the same. The rare moments of any changes where when certain men and kinks they wanted to use on him, like bondage or toy play. Those moments were terrifying but bearable. He never thought it would end and that he’d die as a thing meant for pleasing dirty old men.

            One day was finally different. He woke up to hear the usual banter in the other room, discussion of how he would be used, for how long the customer would want him, price, then the key being given over for them to unlock the door. Romano didn’t want to sit up but felt himself doing so anyway. He would get ready for the next man, soullessly going through the motions once more.

            When the door opens and his eyes land on the man to walk through it, he felt his soul come back with some light of hope. “Nonno?” He whispers with his raspy voice.

            Romulus Vargas shuts the door and looks at his eldest grandson on the mattress. His olive skin tone is pale, skin and bones but well fed and taken care of. His eyes flash with a flame as anger sets in. He walks over to his naked grandson and kneels beside him, wrapping him up in the cap draped over his shoulders.

            “I’m so sorry, Romano. I’m so sorry.”

            Tears well up in Romano’s eyes when he realizes that he’s finally been saved. He begins to sob loudly and ignores the sounds of scuffling and gun shots in the other room. He clings to the big, safe chest of his grandfather, shaking as he pours out all his suffering cries into Romulus’s shirt. It’s not too long after he starts crying that Romulus picks him up and carries him in his arms. He steps out of the room, breezing by the numerous dead bodies lying about, and out into the world where his car waits for him.

            “Burn the place to the ground.”

            “Yes, sir!”

            Romulus doesn’t let go of Romano as he takes a seat in his car and orders the driver to go. The little Italian is happy to hear he’s going to his grandfather’s house, not back to where his father is. He shivers in the bigger man’s arms, sniveling as he calms down. Romulus pets his hair and kisses his forehead, whispering promises that he intends to keep.

            “I want you to tell me who touched you. If you don’t know their names, describe them. Nonno Rome will punish them. I promise.” Romulus hugs his nipote close. “I’m sorry it took so long to find you again, Romano.”

            “P-Please don’t call me that…” Romano sniffs. “Don’t call me by that name. I hate that name.”

            “Why, my little Romanito?” Romulus frowns.

            “He called me with that name.” Romano’s tears come back. “E-Every time. H-He call me with that name wh-when he…t-t-touched me.”

            “Who?” The elder Italian grips the child tighter.

            Romano doesn’t want to say it, but it was that man’s fault. Everything was his fault. “P-Papa.” He cries again.

            Romulus bites his bottom lip as anger swirls in his eyes. “No need to worry, mio nipote. You can live with Grandpa Rome from now on. You won’t need to go back there. Not ever.”

            True to his word, Romulus kept Romano away from the house after visiting one last time to gather his precious items. Romano didn’t speak a word to anyone when he came, not even Feliciano. He merely went to his room, gathered his important things, came down and went into the truck Romulus used that day for transportation. He never saw his father or those men who touched him again.

            If anything major happened after that, he learned the names to match the faces and saw what his grandfather did to each man. At first he would always turn his head but as he grew older, he wanted to see the men suffer. He grew cold and distant, bitter towards people. He never took part in the mafia his grandfather led – Romulus made sure of that – but he could watch the men who hurt him be tortured. If only he could have seen his father go through the same. Maybe then he’d feel a little justified.

             None of that hush money that is in their bank accounts is enough to keep him from squealing when he feels the right to do so. Grandpa Rome told him he could always speak the truth, that the truth was important. He should never lie. In the end, Romano found himself speaking half-truths or pushing people away. He will use what he knows in any way that he deems is necessary.

            For now, he will live one day at a time. He will keep on living because his grandfather wishes it. He owes everything to that man the day he was saved from that mess. If only people knew the whole story, they would understand why he changed drastically. He doesn’t care anymore now that he’s in college. He has a bunch of people around him that he knows he can trust. He hopes his grandfather keeps smiling down on him as he walks the path he chooses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-flash back. Arthur's reaction and Romano's request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter be short. Sorry not sorry!

            Romano breathes in once he’s finished telling Arthur everything that happened to him. He opens his eyes that he closed when he got half-way through the tale and notices that he’s holding Arthur’s hand. He thinks nothing of it, brushing it off as a supportive gesture to tether him back to reality from all those painful memories. When his eyes roam up Arthur’s arm all the way up to take in the Brit’s expression, the frog in his throat becomes very noticeable to him.

            Arthur sits across from him, livid, hand holding Romano’s tightly but not to the point it would hurt. The blond breathes in through his nose in quick spurts because of his growing rage, but he slowly calms down since there is no one to really lash at. Sighing, he closes his eyes and shakes his head, massaging his temples with his free hand as he refuses to let go of Romano’s hand.

            “I can’t believe you went through all that, Lovino,” the Brit says quietly after a few more moments of silence. “I’m ever so grateful that your grandfather saved you, but it changed you drastically, didn’t it?”

            “More than one can say,” Romano agrees. The Italian slowly lets go of Arthur’s hand, the other not trying to grab it once more since he knows Romano no longer needs to be tethered down. “I used to be like Feli. Outgoing, full of laughter, able to kid around, happy. But now I’m a grump who can't stand being called by his first name for personal reasons.”

            “I don’t blame you for disliking your name that way.” Arthur frowns. “You could always change it. Or nix it so that it’s not ever on any of your information. People will accidentally call you that if you don’t mention your preference.”

            “I know.” The fake amber haired man sighs. “The thing is, I don’t really want to get rid of my name. No matter how stupid it really is, it’s still my name. I should try and take pride in it but it’s hard.”

            “There’s no need for you to do anything with it, then. You can even switch your first and middle name around if you’d like.”

            “Lovino Romano Vargas?” Romano snorts. “That sounds like a fucking idiot’s name.”

            “You never know. It might grow on you.” Arthur grins.

            Rolling his eyes, Romano shakes his head. “Nah, I’d rather get used to my first name again. Detach it from that memory and glue it to something else, you know? Even if it’s some damn stupid memory.”

            “Hey, some stupid memories are hilariously good down the line.” Arthur laughs a little.

            “Well, it’d have to be something to stick out in our lives.” Romano gives a small grin before sighing. He goes silent for a moment, Arthur waiting for him to say anything else. “No, I’d like to try something out. I’ve thought about it and I’d like some people to start calling me by my first name when we’re on our own.”

            “Really?” Arthur raises his eyebrows. “One-on-one encounters, you mean?”

            “Yeah. I don’t want any ass-holes calling me by my first name without permission.”

            “I get it. It’d make you uncomfortable if someone called you that without it, right?”

            “Yeah. Like, I don’t think I could stand Alfred or Gilbert calling me that, yet. They’re great sons of bitches, don’t tell them I said so, but I just don’t think they’d get a clue of how important it’d be for me and…well…”

            “No need to say anymore. I understand.” Arthur smiles at him with assurance. “I think that’s a splendid idea. Have you given thought as to who you’d like to have first start this with you?”

            Romano nods. “Actually, I have.” He locks eyes with Arthur, serious as he takes a few seconds to compose himself before stating the first person he’d like to have call him by his first name. “There’s only two at the top of my list, a possible third to join after I get to know him a little bit more.”

            The Brit instantly frowns. “I bet one of them is Antonio.”

            The Italian rolls his eyes. “Of course, but he’s the one I need to get to know more of.”

            With his curiosity piqued from the surprise notification, Arthur can’t help but ask. “Then who are the two you will instantly ask this favor of?”

            “Well, mio fratello of course.”

            “Of course.” Arthur nods.

            “And you,” Romano says without hesitance. He’d rather spit it out fast and now rather than hiccup and pull back from his decision.

            The blond blinks. “Me?” A feeling sweeps over him as Romano nods in confirmation. He processes this, so many questions appearing in his mind but only one other pushing out of his mouth. “Why me?”

            “Because,” Romano starts, “you’re the only person whom I’ve gotten so close with recently enough to call you my best friend.” The Italian flushes as his eyes wander around Arthur’s flat. “I don’t have many other best friends. I don’t really consider Antonio one since, well, you know, especially with us dating now, so… You’re the only guy here I connect with and trust enough with this.”

            Something in Arthur causes the man to lift up a bit, sitting straighter in his seat though he feels like he’s starting to levitate off his seat. “I’m really that special to you?”

            Romano blushes before he nods. “Don’t let that get to your head. Don’t need you to start becoming an egotistical bastard after just this occurrence.” He smirks a little though when Arthur can’t stop smiling widely.

            “I’ll try not to.” The natural ashen-blond laughs. “I feel honored, Lovino. Really.” He blinks. “Oh, uhm, I mean… Romano.” He tries it out, calling his friend by his first name to see his reaction.

            Romano shivers but it’s not a disgusting feeling. He gives Arthur a crooked smile, standing up from his seat so he can go over and lightly shove his friend. “Don’t get too carried away, ass-hole.”

            “Just tell me when I cross a line, twit.” Arthur laughs, standing up beside him. “Would you like to stick around and watch the tellie with me for a while?”

            “Sure. Just know I need to head back before dark so I can talk with Feli about this.”

            “Of course!” Arthur nods with a smile, heading towards the kitchen as the other man heads towards the living room. “Shall I make some tea? Scones?”

            “I don’t care. Do what ya want, just get in here soon so we can watch some stupid movies.”

            “Fine, fine.”

            Arthur preps his scones and works on the tea, letting Romano choose what to watch on his television. The two make comments here and there, the Brit forgetting what he’s supposed to do until the tea kettle whistles for his attention. It doesn’t take too much longer from Romano to comment about something burning and Arthur freaking out over his scones turning to crispy charcoal again.

            This is when Romano learns that Arthur cannot cook for the life of him, and he offers to cook instead the next time he comes over. Arthur happily accepts the proposition, pouting as he defends his talent – or lack thereof – in cooking. As long as they hang out more, the both of them don’t really care what goes on. They’re just really grateful for the friendship that they have with each other now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not beta-ed so there might be mistakes.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A second date with Romano and Antonio.

            Romano didn’t expect the second date to be all too soon after he visited Arthur. Antonio suggested that before the finals come up they should have a second date. The Italian didn’t argue since he felt it would be a great idea but he demanded he chose where they went for their date. The other man went along with it and agreed. Even if it’s a cliché date scene, Romano just really loves the zoo.

            They reached the zoo with Antonio’s car and had plenty of daylight to walk the whole expanse of it. Romano tried to keep in his excitement even though he’s already been to this zoo several times now, including the most recent time with his brother. There’s just something about going to look at animals that he absolutely loves. So many things this Italian adores but refuses to admit he does.

            “I’ll pay for both our tickets since it was my idea,” Romano states, bringing out his wallet.

            “Only if I get to pay for all the food if we go somewhere else afterward.”

            “Deal.” Romano smiles as he mentally sings ‘free food!’ in his head.

            It doesn’t take too long for them to reach the ticket counter. Romano pays for both tickets and they head on in. “Okay, so, the aviary will be saved for last.”

            “Okay.” Antonio hums as he walks alongside Romano towards the lion area. “I wonder if my cousins are working today.”

            “Even if they are, you better not ditch me on our date.” The Italian warns the other while sending a threatening glare. “If you do, I will not hesitate to leave you.”

            “You mean leave the zoo, right?” Antonio frets. He realizes his mistakes quickly and instantly tries to save himself. “I-I won’t! I mean, I really wanted to go on this date with you too, Lovi. I won’t just abandon you.”

            Those words calm down the scowling man. They caress his heart more so that anyone would know since Romano likes to know that no one will leave him. After his grandfather passed, he had a panic attack of not being able to protect himself after losing the only stronghold he had. He had to quickly get over it since Feliciano needed to be taken care of by him but there are days he’s afraid of losing those who keep him grounded and make him feel the littlest bit important to the world.

            He nods. “Good. Now, let’s go.” Romano quickly walks over to the pen where the lions lounge. He takes his phone out to take pictures even though he has a slight worry of accidentally dropping it in the pen.

            Antonio follows him and stands next to him, smiling down at the one large feline held inside the zoo. “I’m surprised you still don’t have a camera.”

            “I don’t have enough money to buy the one I’d really like to have,” Romano mumbles as he tries to get a good, clear shot of a lion yawning. He zooms in as much as he can without the camera picture going fuzzy and taps the screen. “Feli and I barely had enough money to cover our tuition before setting up our classes.”

            “Wait, you had that much money on hand for college?” Antonio’s eyes widen as he gazes at his boyfriend.

            “Well, it was given to us by our grandfather after he passed. He saved up enough good money, had his life insurance policy, retirement, all of that.” Romano neglects to mention the blood money as well as the hush money also saved in the bank for both Vargas brothers. He’d rather not spend that money since it’s in a separate account only Romano can access. He deemed that the emergency money if they were really in a pinch. “He wasn’t really rich but he lived comfortably. I lived comfortably but now Veneziano and I are doing our best to get by with the automatic allowance we have each month.”

            “Automatic allowance?” Antonio chuckles a little.

            “Yeah. The guy set it up so that we got at least five hundred dollars a month put into our accounts.” He starts heading towards another animal pen, Antonio following him and listening intently. “We can’t really touch the money until I’m twenty-seven and Feli is twenty-six. Feli made a fit about that, how he has to wait another year when I get full access to my portion. I agree it’s unfair, but it was our nonno’s wishes. We can't fight a dead man’s will.”

            “Huh.” Antonio watches Romano continue taking pictures with his phone as he thinks about that. “But you each had access to at least 50k to pay for tuition right off the bat?”

            “Yep.” Romano nods, glancing through his taken pictures in his phone’s gallery. “The ass-hole said we couldn’t touch anything until we used that amount for college. Sure, we tried for scholarships as well and got some so we could keep some of the money, but until we graduate from college, we can’t do anything.”

            The Spaniard shakes his head. “You’ll both start out into the world without any worry for debt.”

            “Best damned thing that bastard could’ve done for the both of us.” Romano smiles up at his boyfriend. “I may curse him out about the boring and mind numbing process of going to college, but I won’t fight on it since I know it’s probably going to be some good years of my life.”

            Antonio smiles back, blushing from the sincerely happy smile he sees from the other. “Well, hopefully the two of you can pay him back someway by chasing your dreams.”

            “We’ll do it. If anything, I know Veneziano will go somewhere with his art.” He gazes back at his phone before heading towards the reptile house. “If not selling paintings, I know he’ll do well for interior design. He loves painting point blank so however he can use his passion will be the best for him.”

            “Just like you with your passion for cooking.” Antonio stays at his side. “I know you’ll become a renowned chef. Even if my dream is to be in agriculture and have a farm, I’d love to be a sous-chef for you if you ever needed one.”

            “I’ll think about it.” Romano grins lopsidedly as he takes pictures of the different kinds of snakes and lizards. “Though I hear farming is an all day job as well. I don’t wanna take you from your own dream just to have you at my side.”

            “We could probably work it out.” Antonio chuckles with a smirk that holds two meanings. Romano doesn’t see it so he is unaware of the true thoughts crossing Antonio’s mind.

            They spend their time slowly going around the zoo, Romano taking pictures with his phone while Antonio admires him in his element. Romano enjoys his time at the zoo, not entering the aviary until they’ve seen all the other animals. That’s when a spark lights up in his eyes. Antonio stays at his side as he takes multitudes of pictures in the bird haven. The birds fly around or pose depending on their moods, but none of them get close to the two. Romano wonders why but shrugs it off since he prefers looking from afar anyway. He doesn’t consider the thought that the birds can tell which humans to trust and which to be wary of.

             Time slips by them as they start to leave. Romano looks through his gallery on his phone, smirking or chuckling at the pictures he took. Antonio drives them in the opposite direction of campus and Romano doesn’t notice until he looks up to see unfamiliar buildings.

            “Where are we going?”

            “Oh, back to my apartment.” Antonio smiles, casual like it’s not a big deal. “I thought it’d be okay to show you my other mini tomato farm. We can also relax a bit there before I take you back. Is that okay?” He glances over, a sliver of uncertainty showing in his eyes and smile.

            Romano hums as he thinks about it. “I guess it’s fine. This will be the first time I’m going there, though. Anything I should be careful of?” He grins.

            “No.” Antonio chuckles. “I go to the apartment every other weekend to keep it up. I’ll be moved into it during the rest of my stay in college after this semester.”

            “Why are you dorming when you have an apartment, anyway? It’s confusing.”

            “Well, I had a roommate that wanted to be together this year and had already set everything up for the year.” His smile turns wry. “Before this semester started, he withdrew. I had the apartment set up before he asked to be roommates, so I was about to forgo the apartment and stay in the dorms. When that happened, I figured why bother giving up a nicely priced apartment even though I’ve paid for the dorms already? So I kept both. I know it’s a waste of money, but I work after classes and there’s no problems.” He shrugs. “I also like going to the apartment when I just want to get away from everyone and have some “me” time.”

            Romano nods. “That’s understandable.”

            The Spaniard smiles with a little mischief behind it. “It’s also nice so that if I want to be with my boyfriend without interruptions, we can be in the apartment.” He laughs when Romano blushes. “I also planned for the future to have whoever I want move in with me later. Preferably my S.O.” He glances at the Italian for a moment before focusing on the road again. “Who knows, maybe you’d like to move in with me by the end of this year. That’s if your brother would like to room with someone else, anyway.”

            That thought never crossed Romano’s mind before. Feliciano has never hinted about wanting a different roommate, they agreed to room together for the first year in convenience, but now that the little Italian has more friends, he’d most likely want to room with a friend. It was a no brainer. Romano wouldn’t hold him back from that but he wouldn’t have anyone else to room with. Arthur has his own apartment as well and he wouldn’t want to bother him when he’s going to be finishing up his credits and most likely doing the graduate program. The Brit will be too busy with work and Romano wouldn’t want to bother him. Moving in with Antonio, it probably would be too soon now, but at the end of the year? That wouldn’t be too fast. Would it? No, it shouldn’t be. By the end of May they would have been dating for over five months. It should be okay.

            “If Vene wants to have a different roommate, I might think about moving in with you.” Romano glares. “But don’t think it’s in stone. It’s only an ‘if’ and one of many possibilities.”

            Antonio smiles. “Of course! Si.” He nods and chuckles, happy. “Maybe I should bring you over more often so you can get used to the place then. And decide to move in without hesitation.” Antonio winks as he sticks his tongue out in a silly manner.

            The Italian rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Just make sure I’m not busy during those days I come over.”

            “I will.”

            The green-eyed brunette’s smile holds a double meaning as they drive to his apartment. When they get there, Romano realizes how comfy it is even though it’s obviously bear right now. Most of Antonio’s belongings are in his dorm room for now since it’s convenient to have there instead of here. It makes sense to him. For the rest of the day they chill on the couch watching Netflix programs and just relaxing with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't beta-ed so there might be mistakes.

**Author's Note:**

> So this story's trope is slightly based off of the comic Killing Stalking but this is not a crossover. I only to the psychological thrilling romance idea so I can try something different. This story is rated Explicit for future chapters to come. Spain will be very OOC in future chapters, so if you cannot handle it, please stop reading. If you're a dare devil, you can keep reading. For the chapters that will depict explicit content there will be a warning at the beginning. For now, everything is going to be fine and dandy. I do have a couple more chapters written already but there are other stories I'd like to focus on a bit more. I'll be slowly uploading more as times passes.


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